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You've just paid a ton of money to get your child some help for their drug and alcohol problem. Now don't blow your investment! Here are the top 10 most common mistakes that parents make after their kid leaves rehab. Some of these will surprise you!
It's a whole different dynamic and can be a massive change for everyone. It's hard to know what to say, what to do, whether or not to bring your child home. And what about aftercare?
Should you make them go to meetings?
So many questions...
In this video Addiction, Expert Amber Hollingsworth goes over the top 10 mistakes parents mistake after their kid leaves rehab.
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In this video, we're going to cover the top 10 Mistakes that parents make after their kid leaves rehab., You know, I usually save the most important one for last, but not today.
Today, I'm going to start with it right out of the gate.
That thing is that parents bring the kid home from rehab.
Those of you.
That know, me, know how adamantly against this I am.
And if you haven't already, I've got several videos that address this issue.
There's, a video called Reasons, Why, You, Should, Not, Bring, Your, Kid, Home from Rehab and there's.
A video called, Why, Home, Contracts, Don't, Work., So.
If you haven't, make sure you check those out.
The, second, huge mistake that parents make after their kids leave rehab is that they try to manage the kid's recovery.
They, try to keep up with how many meetings they've gone to Have.
You talked to your sponsor? What step are you on?? You, can't, FORCE, recovery., You can force compliance, but not recovery.
You've got a bunch of rules around this kind of thing, then either you're going to end up in a power struggle or Your kid is just going to be checking things off the list.
Went to a meeting, got a sponsor.
That, doesn't mean that they're absorbing the information, that doesn't mean that they've had a change of heart.
Any of that stuff, they're, just checking boxes., You can say things, like, "I expect you to be clean and sober", or you can say, "I expect you to attend your aftercare program".
But outside of that, you cannot micromanage their recovery, program.
Number, three, Parents, too quickly, put a lot of focus on the kid, getting a job or going to school.
If they're, right out of a residential treatment program.
And they haven't been working or haven't been going to school, Then.
You need to ease this in I know.
If you've got a kid that's been to rehab, they're, probably behind and you're feeling frustrated because they're so behind their peers and they're probably feeling frustrated, and they want to jump right back into school or work, but they need to get a good solid recovery.
Community, plan, program established before you put all of your focus on these things.
So, many times, parents think that having a good job, or being back in school is going to fix the problem and it's not.
School and work should definitely be secondary to recovery.
4, big mistake, parents make after their kid leaves rehab.
They think the kid is actually cured.
Parents are like "okay, great, wonderful!", They went.
We paid a lot of money.
They're acting better.
They're, fixed!, Wrong, answer! You are not fixed just because you went away to 30, 60, 90 days of treatment., Trust, me, there's, a lot more work that needs to be done.
Getting sober is not the hard part.
Staying sober in real-life.
Now, that's the hard part! Which leads me to Number 5! Not having a really good aftercare plan for your kid after leaving rehab., any time that you're leaving any sort of addiction, treatment.
You want to move from the level of care they're at to the one just down from that to the one just down from that.
It needs to be a step down process.
So that might look like residential, treatment, recovery, residence, intensive, outpatient program, individual, counseling, regular, meetings., And.
You can see how the intensity in the duration and frequency of treatment gets a little less all the way.
You do not want to have somebody at a very high level of care.
Go from this step all the way down to this step, because it just doesn't work., little baby steps of freedom, of letting the rope out, of accountability.
All of those things need to happen in little increments.
If you want to set them up for long-term, recovery., Number, 6, Not seeking help for the whole family! There's, no way that you've put a kid in rehab without it causing at least some amount of havoc in your household.
Between you and your spouse, between you and your kids Between your kids and themselves, between your spouse and your kids.
Because your one kid went away to rehab, doesn't mean that that's all fixed.
Make, sure that you're addressing the family dynamics.
The family gets better, the faster, the person will get better.
Heard me mention this.
This, one, is, Home, Contracts., At, Hope for Families, We don't think home contracts, work, in fact.
We think when parents set up home contracts, it actually just backs the parent into the corner.
You haven't already, make sure you check out that video where Campbell and I talk in detail about why that is and what you should do instead., The, 8th mistake, that parents make when bringing their kid home from rehab is that they act weird! They, don't know what to talk about or that they only talk about the addiction or the recovery., You know, what? Yes! It's important to deal with that.
But it doesn't have to be dealt with 24/7.
In fact, Sometimes we have to tell parents, what day and time they're allowed to talk about that.
Because if let to their own devices, they'll talk about nothing else.
There are these weird, purple elephants, all the way around.
Okay, just to be normal.
Just to talk about regular things, like, the Netflix show or the ball game.
Anything that you would normally talk.
About, doesn't have to be stressful.
Most of your conversations should be regular.
Normal conversations and yes, there's, a time and place to talk about difficult, therapeutic family dynamics, but it shouldn't be all the time.
If you're doing that.
Your kid is just going to start to avoid you like the plague! Number, 9, You're, constantly reminding your kid about everything.
Constantly, reminding them that they've got to do their community service, that they have to be at work tomorrow at 8 that they need to go to their meetings.
They they haven't called their sponsor.
They they have a therapist appointment on Wednesday.
Constantly being on their case., This doesn't, allow them to develop good, young adult skills in life.
You're got to back up, and maybe they miss a meeting and maybe they're late for their job and that's okay.
The, Universe works.
If you'll just let it.
It will teach them what they need to know.
You just have to back up.
And let that happen.
I had a parent, ask me, once, "can, I, remind of this"? "Can I, tell him, this" I said, yes, you can you can tell him anything you want to one time!, But, that's, it!, No, more after that!, No constant reminding!, You know, what that's called? Nagging! and that's the best way to get someone to tune you out You want to get someone to not listen to you? Do, that!, It'll, work., Lastly.
Number 10, is parents arguing and power-struggling over little things that really don't matter! This is simple.
I call, it, PICK, YOUR, BATTLES., When, I used to work on the adolescent unit of the psych hospital.
We used to say, "that's, just not the hill.
I, wanna die.
I want to spend my time and energy telling this kid to pull up their pants and eat their vegetables? Or do I want to spend my time and energy worrying about this kid doing heroin?, That's, right!, Pick, your battles! vegetables and broccoli and clothing.
And some of these other little things that you're worried about, I'm, not saying, they're, not important I'm, just saying, they're, not nearly as important as this bigger battle that you're fighting.
It go! Stop.
You do that, You're, damaging your relationship with your kid and ultimately it's that relationship that has the power to heal your kid.
Every time you do that, you're taking some of your own power.
Those are your top 10 Mistakes that parents make after their kid leaves rehab.
Studies reflect that about 40-60% of individuals relapse within 30 days of leaving an inpatient drug and alcohol treatment center, and up to 85% relapse within the first year.What to expect when you get out of rehab? ›
After completing detoxification and inpatient rehabilitation, a person in recovery will return to normal life. This includes work, family, friends, and hobbies. All these circles and events can trigger cravings and temptations. Research suggests most relapses occur in the first 6 months after treatment.What are the three stages of recovery from addiction? ›
Substance use disorder recovery is a journey of rebirth and renewal with multiple stages. There are generally three stages in the recovery process for addiction: abstinence, repair, and growth.What does recovery from addiction include? ›
Recovery is a process of change through which people improve their health and wellness, live self-directed lives, and strive to reach their full potential. Even people with severe and chronic substance use disorders can, with help, overcome their illness and regain health and social function. This is called remission.What are the stages after relapse? ›
What Are The Three Stages Of Relapse? Contrary to popular beliefs, that relapse is a quick, almost situational occurrence, it is actually a slow process that occurs in 3 stages: emotional, mental, and physical. Being aware of these three stages can help prevent relapse before it occurs.What are the three phases of relapse? ›
Relapse is a gradual process that begins weeks and sometimes months before an individual picks up a drink or drug. There are three stages to relapse: emotional, mental, and physical. The common denominator of emotional relapse is poor self-care.What are the stages of rehab? ›
- Phase 1 - Control Pain and Swelling.
- Phase 2 - Improve Range of Motion and/or Flexibility.
- Phase 3 - Improve Strength & Begin Proprioception/Balance Training.
- Phase 4 - Proprioception/Balance Training & Sport-Specific Training.
- Phase 5 - Gradual Return to Full Activity.
Depression during addiction recovery is not uncommon. In many cases, it resolves on its own as the brain regains its ability to function normally. Sometimes depression does not go away, however, and if this happens, you should seek medical treatment.How to love a recovering addict? ›
- Educate yourself about addiction and recovery.
- Show patience, understanding, acceptance, and unconditional love.
- Remain supportive but set boundaries and don't enable.
- Encourage healthier coping mechanisms.
- Remind them of the progress they have made.
The five stages of addiction recovery are precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance.
Meanwhile, the drug de-addiction policy drafted has suggested some key strategies while keeping the focus on 4As. These include increasing Awareness, restricting the Availability of drugs, and increasing Affordability and Accessibility to treatment programmes.What are the 3 A's of addiction? ›
On the first day in Al-Anon, we are told the 3 C's: We didn't cause it; we can't cure it; and we can't control it referring to the addiction as well as the addict. Another triple I heard from my first sponsor is the 3 A's: Awareness, Acceptance, Action.What is considered long term recovery? ›
A person is considered in long-term recovery or remission when they have stopped or moderated their substance use and improved their quality of life for at least five years. The early stages of crisis stabilization are past, the damage drug use has inflicted is undergoing repair, and a “normal” life is being built.What are the rules for recovery? ›
It can also help to keep in mind the National Institute of Health's (NIH) Five Rules of Recovery: (1) change your life, (2) be completely honest, (3) ask for help, (4) practice self-care, and (5) don't bend the rules. These five rules can help keep you on track in your recovery.What is a relapse after battling an addiction? ›
A relapse is when a person returns to using drugs or alcohol after a period of sobriety. While a lapse is a brief “slip” where a person may drink or use, but then immediately stop again, a relapse is when a person makes a full blown return to drinking and/or using drugs.What percentage of people relapse in the first year? ›
In fact, 85 percent of individuals relapse within a year of treatment, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse. Moreover, two-thirds of individuals return to drug use within weeks of beginning addiction treatment.How likely is it to relapse after 1 year sober? ›
According to a survey of members of AA, 75 percent experience a relapse during their first year of recovery. For those who are sober five years, the rate drops to 7 percent.What is the relapse rate for therapy? ›
There is evidence that about 50% of patients who were recovered by the end of psychotherapeutic treatment suffered a relapse within a time span of two years (Dobson et al., 2008, Emmelkamp, 2013, Gortner et al., 1998, Hollon et al., 2005, Shea et al., 1992, Vittengl et al., 2007).What is annual rate of relapse? ›
ARR for NNT
ARR is computed as the total number of relapses in a given period divided by the total number of person-years in that period.