Sleeping Wake/Waking Sleep - Safaia (2024)

Chapter Text

“Those who have compared our life to a dream were right... we were sleeping wake, and waking sleep.” - Michel de Montaigne

There were many things in Johanna Constantine's life that she could consider strange, but running into what was essentially the God of Dreams and having him almost owe her a favor was right at the top of the list. She had no idea how she was supposed to deal with this now, but here she was, having to exist in this world, and Johanna had to continue on her way. The Lord of Dreams, or Lord Morpheus, had promised her that the memory of failing Astra wouldn't haunt her at night anymore. The sun was starting to come up the first time Johanna laid down after that exchange, and she didn't dream of Astra; she didn't dream at all.

At first, it was the closest to Heaven that she had ever felt. If this is what peace was, Johanna could see why people would risk everything they had to gain it because it was lovely. She woke up not precisely feeling rested, but the memory of Asta's hand in hers was not lingering like a phantom ache. It improved everything around her, and Johanna thought she could start drinking a little less. It was as simple as taking away that one nightmare to solve most of her problems. Maybe it was that easy when it came to fixing her. That was slightly insulting, but Johanna was too busy sleeping to care.

However, something began to form under her skin like an infection. At first, Johanna thought it was just her body getting used to having a whole night of sleep again, but after days of sleeping without nightmares, nothing came from it. The thing under her skin felt almost growing, and Johanna could take a knife to cut it out. She ignored it; if there was anything Johanna Constantine could do, it was overlook a problem and keep her ear to the ground. There was a dream that the world around her went insane with telling the truth, the only dream she had, but when Johanna woke up, everything was fine. The more people she talked to, the more people had some variation of that exact dream.

It seemed that Morpheus was up to something, but she didn't know what, and she wasn't sure if they were on speaking terms that she could just ask. Johanna didn't see any other fallout from the dream, and everyone seemed all right. The next thing that caught her eye was the convention in America, which turned out to be a literal serial killer convention. Serial murderers walked out into the world to either confess their worst sins or take their very lives. She was on a plane that night when a friend called her out. Johanna knew this was linked to the supernatural somehow, but she didn't know what. Once again, she didn't dream, and the thing beneath her skin grew.

For days, Johanna had to speak to serial killers as she tried to come up with some sort of explanation for why they would suddenly confess like this. She looked for any kind of throughline that made sense, but there didn't seem to be one. The only thing these people had in common was a rather terrible "hobby," they all decided that confessing at the same time was the best way to go about things. It would be an understatement to say it was surreal, and Johanna stared down demons regularly.

"So what are your thoughts?" the detective, someone Ric knew, asked. Johanna didn't know his name and didn't bother to remember. She was too worried about the fact that she had heard the truth from these serial killers for days, and yet she didn't have a single nightmare about it. Nothing was haunting her dreams, and Johanna was beginning to realize that the lack of haunting might be the problem.

"It's not demonic; they aren't cursed or under any sort of magic I can see, but it's not normal. There isn't an explanation; it's just something that happened," Johanna replied. The detective swore loudly, and Johanna wanted a smoke or a drink. "Do you need me anymore, or can I take the next plane home?"

"I've already broken every protocol possible to let you talk to the killers; I might as well let you look at some of the footage. Maybe you can see something I can't," the detective replied. Johanna shrugged and made her way to the closest bar. The booze was terrible, and the next man who tried to pick her up would regret it, but at least the whiskey numbed everything. She was drunk when she got back to her room, and Johanna fell back on the bed.

Johanna always looked at her life as Before Astra and After Astra because what happened to Astra was such a key event. It was the thing that defined nearly everything she did now. It was the reason that she did what she did. Could the feeling beneath her skin be something related to Astra? Did losing the nightmare almost feel like losing purpose? Johanna couldn't be sure, but there had to be another way of keeping her sense of purpose without needing to relive that nightmare. There had to be a way to sleep at night and not let this guilt eat her alive.

Johanna didn't dream again and didn't hide that she was hungover from the detective the following day. He looked at her with something like pity, and she almost lashed out. How dare someone like that think she is pitiful; then Johanna caught a look at herself in the glass of a window. She had seen her fair share of corpses and looked pretty close to one. While the detective might look at her with pity, he decided not to say anything about it. He left her with some of the footage from the convention, and she settled down to watch.

It was strange how unassuming all of these people were. They all looked like someone you would pass on the street and not even glance at, yet they were as bad as the demons Johanna often sent to hell. Everything looked like it was going fine until the time skip the detective talked about. A speaker was talking one moment, and the next, he was gone. From there, everyone stood up, walked out of the room like they had heard, and saw something that told them it was time to confess. Johanna switched to the hotel door and watched as they all walked out of the building when someone familiar caught her eye.

When it came to serial killers, Johanna had a pretty broad definition, and she thought there were plenty of creatures she dealt with that would count. What she didn't think counted was the Morpheus strolling out of the convention like he didn't have a care in the world. He just watched as the people walked out, some confessing and others ending their lives. Johanna switched to the parking lot camera, but the Morpheus was nowhere to be seen. In the blink of an eye, he was gone, and with him, Johanna was left with more questions than answers.

When the detective came in to talk to her, Johanna lied through her teeth and told him that she didn't see anything in the footage they should look into. Somehow, saying that actual Sandman was there didn't seem like it was going to be helpful. Instead, she packed her bags and immediately made her way to London. As she waited for flights and crossed the pond, Johanna poured over every resource she could find. There was truth in myth; that had to be the case, so she looked to myth and any other resource. There wasn't much that she could glean about what could have made the Sandman make an entire group of serial killers go out into the world.

She let herself get caught up in the research and everything else that she could find on him. Johanna had to admit that there were times when she would get a little obsessed with things, but this seemed to take it to another level. She still couldn't dream about Astra; every night she didn't, it felt like a piece of her was being chipped away. Without the memory of Astra in her mind every night, reminding her of the things that needed to atone for and what she needed to find a way to fix, Johanna could feel her very sense of purpose slipping through her fingers like the very sand that killed Rachel.

Rachel's peaceful death was another favor she had asked of the Sandman, so maybe he didn't owe her a favor after all. Perhaps she was the one who was in debt to him, which turned her stomach a little bit. The idea of a god having some sort of hold over her was nauseating, to say the least. Or that was the all-liquid diet that Johanna was currently on because she couldn't stop reading, and now it was time to stop sleeping. If she failed to dream about Astra, then that was one more day that she held onto that purpose. Or something like that; Johanna was nearing three days awake and honestly didn't even know if she was making sense in her head anymore.

"You have to sleep," Ric told her a day ago when she discovered that Johanna was refusing to sleep. "If you don't sleep, you'll go mad or die. Johanna, you have to sleep; whatever haunts you at night is just a dream. It isn't real, and it can't hurt you." Johanna had almost laughed in Ric's face at that statement but decided that explaining why she was laughing would make her look even madder than she already did.

Johanna blinked, and for half a moment, she thought she had fallen asleep because Morpheus had apparently decided just to let himself into her flat. She stared at him and blinked several times, ironically rubbing the grit from her eyes, but he was still there. He looked a little better than the last time she saw him; there was something shrunken about the last time she had seen him, and while he spoke of power, he carried himself like someone afraid. Everything about him just looked a little more steady, but she supposed that time would heal most wounds when it came to eternal beings.

"Johanna Constantine," he said, and his voice seemed like it was coming from every corner of the room. She would have thought this was a dream if her eyes weren't hurting so much from the lack of sleep. "I haven't seen you for several days in my realm."

"Your realm?" she asked. "I haven't dreamed since I saw you." Once the words left her lips, she couldn't stop them from flowing forward like a flood. "You took away the memory, but you took away all my dreams. I don't have any, and now I don't have any purpose. I need to see that memory because it reminds me of my purpose. It reminds me why I do what I do and why I keep going. If I don't have that memory, then I don't have a purpose, and if I don't have a purpose--" Johanna cut herself off because she didn't want to say anything else. She didn't want to admit that she didn't feel like there was much point to her aside from fixing what happened to Astra.

"I apologize," Morpheus said softly, and her head snapped up to look at him. "I thought it would help you not to see that memory anymore because it seemed to haunt you so much. You have dreamed, Constantine; you just haven't remembered any of them because I wanted you to only remember the good dreams for a time. You had seen enough nightmares, so I wanted to give you a respite from them."

"You're saying that I haven't remembered any of my dreams because none of them have been good?" Johanna asked, and Morpheus nodded. "Why haven't you just given me a good dream? Isn't that what you do?"

"I help craft what you create," he explained. "However, I can be more direct if need be. There is an issue with that which you might not find as enjoyable."

"And what exactly is that?" she asked.

"I have to be there; some would likely find that invasive," Morpheus replied. Johanna stared and thought about that. There was likely little that could happen in a dream that would offend a being that has been around as long as he had. He had seen the worst of humanity; he had experienced some of it in that basem*nt, which she only had the bare details of from her research, so anything he could see from her dreams wouldn't make him judge her. Perhaps it was the madness settling in from not sleeping, but Johanna stood a little taller and stared down at the Lord of Dreams.

"If you're going to spend so much time in my dreams, Lord Morpheus, what should I call you? Lord Morpheus?" she asked. Something in his dark eyes glittered like stars in the night sky.

"You may call me Morpheus if you wish, Constantine, but you may also call me Dream," he replied.

"Then you'll call me Johanna," she said, and it was like meeting again for the first time.

+++

It shouldn't have surprised her that Dream insisted that she go to sleep immediately because she had been awake for several days, but Johanna also couldn't go to bed without washing some of the dirt from the last couple of days off of her skin first. For half a moment, she thought she would have to argue with him, but Dream stood back and let her do what she needed to do. He lurked in her living room like a shadow in the dark, but it didn't feel like a shadow that was threatening. It was a danger that she could feel, but it wasn't a threat to her.

The shower felt divine, and the sheer force of will kept Johanna from falling asleep under the arm spray. The idea of being carried naked and wet to her bed by Dream was not exactly something that she wanted to think about right before he was about to help craft some good dreams for her. Johanna usually slept naked or in whatever clothing she had fallen asleep in, but she had an oversized t-shirt she stole from an ex that covered enough. She left the bathroom and keenly noticed that Dream was looking at her. He wordlessly followed her into her room.

"So what happens now?" Johanna asked as she climbed into bed.

"You sleep, and I help you craft a dream," Dream replied as if it were that simple.

"And what happens to you that is in this world?"

"There is no me of this world and me of the Dreaming; there is only me. When I enter the dreaming with you, I will no longer be in this world," he explained, and all of this made sense to her. Maybe it was the delirium talking, but her brain latched onto one thing for some reason, and her brain-to-mouth filter wasn't working at full capacity.

"Does that mean you'll be gone when I wake up?" she asked. If Dream answered her in the real world, Johanna didn't hear him because she was too busy finally getting some sleep.

+++

Johanna had always been a reasonably lucid dreamer, so it wasn't surprising when she became aware that she was wandering the streets of London on a rare day when the sun was high in the sky, and it was just cool enough that she could justify a coat. One moment, she was walking alone, and the next, Dream was walking in step next to her. He looked a little different here than he did in the real world. If she thought he looked more sure of himself in the real world, that was nothing compared to how he looked in a dream. This Dream seemed to carry him like the King the lore often called him. He was dressed more or less the same, but his coat was long and nearly reached the floor. Johanna swore she could see the night sky in its lining if she looked too closely, but maybe that was just a trick of the light.

"So my idea of a good dream is walking through London on a nice day?" Johanna asked.

"Did you expect it to be more complex than that?" Dream asked, and she shrugged. "I think you overestimate how simple peace can be for some people. If this is peace for you right now, Johanna, it is a good dream, and we are accomplishing what we want."

"You were stopping the memory of Astra," she said as they turned into Victoria Park, which was basically empty. It would never look like this if the weather were this nice in the real world. "Does that mean you were stopping other bad dreams?" He hummed in agreement, and she thought about seeing him at the hotel when the serial killers walked out to confess what they had done. "Were you in America recently?" Dream might be an otherworldly being, but he was not impossible to read, and she saw the microexpressions fall across his face. By wordless agreement, they found an empty bench and sat down.

"Yes, a rogue nightmare of mine was there, and there was another issue that needed to be dealt with, but everything is right now," Dream replied.

"'Everything is right,' he says," Johanna was wondering if confronting him in his realm was the right move, but she didn't think she had the power to contain him in the real world either. So either way, if he were going to lash out for this, at least here, it would be painless if she died in her sleep. "So everything is right now that all those serial killers have confessed what they did?"

"They needed to be punished," Dream replied like it was that simple.

"And you were the one to punish them? You were the one who decided who lived and who died?" Johanna asked, and her voice was rising a little.

"I did not tell anyone to harm themselves; I simply told them to become aware of how craven they were and how much pain they had caused. What they did with that was none of my concern," Dream said, and he turned to look at her. Once again, his eyes looked black like a galaxy, and it felt like he was seeing into everything of her. This was her dream, and she was barring so much of herself to get this. "You judge me for this."

"Perhaps you should have worded it so they would turn themselves in, not take the coward's way out. There is no justice in any of them taking their own lives, not for the people they had hurt and not for the families," Johanna explained. She reminded herself that this man sitting in front of her was not a man and not someone who likely understood everything about the human way of life. She remembered him telling her how odd it was that humans were so attached to objects when he was looking for the sand.

"I will take that under advisem*nt," Dream replied, which wasn't an answer one way or another, but she didn't think that she could convince an all-seeing being that due process was the way to get justice in the human world. Johanna looked out into the fields and thought about Rachel. She hadn't thought about her in a long time, but the guilt that Rachel was dead because of what Johanna did sat like a shard of glass under her skin. "She dreamed of you," Dream said suddenly, and Johanna nearly jumped.

"What did you say?" she whispered.

"In her final moments, Rachel dreamed of you and a happy time with you. That was the good dream I gave her when she passed peacefully," Dream replied. For some reason, that felt too personal. She shouldn't know what Rachel dreamed about before she died, and Rachel's last thought certainly shouldn't have been about her. She shouldn't have been the thing to bring Rachel peace in her final moments. Johanna felt her blood run cold, and she clenched her fists.

"I want to wake up now," she stated harshly. Dream didn't say another word to her; she didn't even see him move in her peripheral vision, and the last thing from the dream that Johanna remembered was the sun on her skin and the breeze in her hair.

+++

Johanna opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling of her flat. The sun was coming in through her windows, and it looked like it would be a nice day. For half a moment, she wondered if she was still dreaming, but the smell of her flat that desperately needed to be cleaned was enough of a reminder that this was real. When she looked around the room, she was alone, and the only evidence that Dream had ever been there was some fine grains of sand left on the floor. She swept them up and almost threw them away. Instead, Johanna put the grains into a small jar and added them to her collection. It would make for a good story, if nothing else.

She felt better but was still extremely tired when she finally slept. Johanna cracked her back, stripped off all her clothes, and climbed into bed. There wasn't anyone in her room this time, so she didn't need to hide anything from anyone. This time, it was Astra, only she swore she saw a black figure lurking in the club's shadows as she walked through, trying to find Astra. The nightmare jolted her from sleep in the middle of the night, and Johanna looked around. There wasn't anyone in her room, not even the sand on the ground, but she didn't sleep for the rest of the night. It was, strangely, exactly what she needed.

For the rest of the week, Johanna would occasionally have a good dream, and out of the corner of her eye, she would see Dream lurking in a corner. However, when she turned to see him there, he was gone. He was here, helping craft these dreams, but he wasn't interacting with her and didn't seem keen to change that. If there was ever anything an immortal being would eventually win, it was a stalemate, and Johnna knew that time was quite literally not on her side. It was another good dream when she stopped and waited.

"I know you're out there, so you can stop lurking and come out again. I promise I don't bite," Johanna said. The crowds before her seemed to part as Dream walked toward her. She was suddenly reminded that she was in a dream with an extremely striking-looking man, a man who seemed clued into any fantasies or daydreams she might have while in this dream, so she pushed those thoughts from her head and forced herself not to think about it.

"I was just respecting your wishes," Dream said as he joined her.

"It felt invasive to know what she thought about when she died," Johanna said softly, and he hummed.

"I suppose I don't think of it that way, but I suppose I can see that point of view," Dream replied, which was about as close to an apology or an acknowledgment that he misstepped in any way. They began to make their way through the dream some more. This time, she was sure they were in a tiny village that didn't even look like it was real. The people around her were ignoring her and Dream like they were ghosts, and she was just a visitor peaking in on their their day-to-day lives. "Why do you need the nightmare, Johanna?"

Johanna sucked in a breath and tried to steady her pounding heart. Her first instinct was to tell him to f*ck off and that it was none of his f*cking business. It was on the tip of her tongue to the point she nearly watched Dream retreat into himself as he had already heard her tell him to f*ck off. So she pushed her shoulders back a little and stood a little taller. "Self-flagellation, I suppose," she replied. "Entirely selfish reasons at the end of the day. I want to find a way to help get Astra back, somehow, and that is why I do what I do: so I can find a way to bring her back. I was too confident that night; I should have found help or spoken faster. I should have found a way to get her out of there. I should have held on tighter, but I didn't, and now I need that reminder so I never forget what I'm fighting for. So I never forget why I keep getting up when it's so bloody hard."

The silence that followed was deafening, and she wondered if Dream would leave because this wasn't anything he wanted to hear. Instead, he frowned deeply and glanced at her. "I had a son a long time ago. I lost him, which was the source of my anger and resentment for a long time. It still is, in many ways. I cannot fully understand why you feel the need to hold onto this memory, but pain and loss are things I have experienced." Johanna wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to that, so she didn't say anything at all. Eventually, the dream ended, and she woke up feeling rested.

+++

Another week went by, and Dream was absent from her dreams and nightmares, but she still remembered all of them. Johanna wasn't sure if that meant he was somewhere hidden or if something had shifted, and she didn't need him to be around to remember her dreams again. If it was the latter, she wasn't so proud to admit that she would miss the talks they had in her dreams. She looked up more information about who could be Dream's lost child in myth or legend because she assumed people would write about this. It took her to Orpheus. The pain he spoke of made more sense to her now.

After sending a demon back to hell and making a very long trek across the city, Johanna realized that the Sandman was waiting outside her building, and his bird, Matthew, was waiting with him. She hadn't seen him in the real world since he had helped her sleep the first night.

"Matthew, good to see you again. Are you keeping an eye on him as I told you to?" she asked.

"When he lets me," Matthew replied, and the way Dream looked a little chastized was amusing, to say the least. Dream waved his hand, and Matthew took to the skies. It was like the shadows themselves took Matthew out of this world.

"Shall we?" Johanna asked because it didn't seem likely that Dream would tell her why he was here outside in public. He wordlessly followed her to her place, and one of the neighbors looked a little alarmed by the tall shadow following Johanna around. She didn't know how to reassure someone that, yes, this shadow was dangerous, but he probably wasn't here to hurt me, so don't worry about it, so she didn't bother. Instead, Johanna opened the door and let Dream into her space again. "So, why are you here? Why not come to me during the dreams tonight?"

"I wanted to ask you something, and it felt fair that I ask you here instead of in the Dreaming," he replied. He paused, and she gestured for him to continue. "Would you like to see the Dreaming?"

"Don't I see it every night?" Johanna asked.

"No, those are your dreams; I want to show the Dreaming. I want to show you my realm," Dream replied. Something about this felt monumental, and she could tell that Dream was a little uncomfortable with asking her this. She wondered how many people got to see the Dreaming the way he saw it. She wondered how long it had been since he asked and how long it had been since someone said 'yes.'

"Am I going to forget everything in the morning because I'm not meant to see it?" Johanna asked because she wasn't sure she wanted to experience something she wouldn't even remember in the morning.

"No, of course not," Dream said.

"Then I would love to see the Dreaming," Johanna said. There was the whisper of the smile on his lips, and it made something twist in her stomach. He left her alone so she could get ready without prying eyes and followed her into the room. Johanna didn't know how to bring up the one change she had made to the room since the first time Dream had been there. Now, along the wall, a small armchair was facing the bed. He looked slightly confounded by the chair but wordlessly sat down and didn't ask her about it. Somehow, him sitting in the chair and watching while she climbed into bed was more intense than him standing behind her while she crawled into bed. The oversized t-shirt didn't feel like it was covering enough.

"Is there anything special we need to do to make this work?" she asked, but Dream shook his head. "So I'll sleep, and you'll be there with me just like always? And you'll be gone when I wake up?"

"Yes, Johanna," Dream replied. There was a moment of silence, and neither of them said anything. He just watched her with those dark eyes, and she watched him right back. However, Johanna was still aware that being stubborn would not win against someone who had all the time in the world. So she settled down, closed her eyes, and let the exhaustion from a long day pull her under to sleep.

+++

It was a beach she was standing on, and Johanna could feel how different this dream was from all the other dreams she had been experiencing for the last couple of weeks. Her dreams before meeting Dream felt one way, and her dreams after meeting him felt another, but this nearly set her teeth on edge. Johanna couldn't remember the last time she felt this vulnerable and exposed, which wasn't a pleasant feeling. She thought about panicking, screaming, throwing up a cross, and trying to exorcise whatever was here that felt so dangerous when there was movement behind her. Johanna turned around, her fists clenched so tight she swore it hurt, and Dream stood before her. He looked a little puzzled to see her so on edge.

"Johanna, did you forget that we agreed I would take you into the Dreaming tonight?" he asked. He sounded a little condescending, which made her even more on edge, but lashing out when it felt like this world could swallow her whole was not wise.

"I didn't forget," Johanna snapped, "but I wasn't expecting a place that feels like I'm staring into the depths of hell again. How can you possibly exist here?" He blinked slowly, like he was processing what she had just said. She wasn't expecting a reply to that question because it was obvious that this was where Dream was most comfortable. She could see that in the way he was standing before her. Instead, he wordlessly offered her a hand. Johanna looked at it like she couldn't trust whatever he was offering, but it seemed that Dream would let those actions speak for himself and did not explain himself. He just stood there with his hand outstretched and waited. "I want you to know I find it f*cking annoying that I always know you can outlast me simply because you have time on your side. It makes it very hard to argue with you."

"I've not argued or conversed with many mortals for an extended amount of time, so I never considered that aspect of our conversations," Dream replied, and he still didn't pull his hand back. He still f*cking waited for her to take it, and Johanna knew that being stubborn wasn't going to get her anywhere. If shee wanted to see the world he was offering to show her, it was clear that this was the path forward. Johanna reached forward and took Dream's hand.

Considering his pale appearance, she expected him to be ice cold, but he wasn't. Dream wasn't warm either; it was like he just existed and didn't give off a temperature. That did add up, considering they were in the Dreaming, and he was the King here. He didn't grasp her fingers tightly or anything like that; he took her hand daintily like he would be helping her across a large puddle so she didn't ruin her shoes. The world around her felt a little safer, and Johanna felt her heart start slowing down. Dream watched her carefully as if he was still waiting for something, and she realized it was her. He was waiting for her to tell him that she was ready to move on, and he'd probably wait until this dream was over if she wanted him to.

"You call yourself the King of Dreams, so let's see that kingdom," Johanna said. Dream nodded at her, and they began walking away from the beach she found herself on.

+++

Johanna knew she was barely seeing an inch of what Dream called a kingdom, but the palace was something out of this world. She looked up at the night sky in the ceiling and almost didn't feel his hand in hers. He hadn't released it since they walked away from the beach, and she didn't know what she thought about that. Johanna made fun of the throne just a little, but Dream seemed to take it in stride enough that he didn't immediately end the dream and kick her awake. Instead, he looked a little amused by her and guided her to a library where a woman in a fantastic pantsuit greeted them.

"Johanna, this is Lucienne, my chief librarian and the keeper of this place," Dream introduced. Lucienne looked down at their hands, and Johanna wanted to pull away, but something made her stay. She still wasn't sure if any of this could be trusted, and now wasn't the time to find out.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Johanna Constantine," Johanna said, and Lucienne smiled knowingly.

"I know who you are," she said, "I've seen your stories here." Lucienne gestured to the vastness of the library. When Matthew appeared, Johanna was about to ask if that meant that both Dream and Lucienne knew her future.

"Oh hey boss, you brought her, that's good," Matthew said. "Pretty wild-looking place, isn't it?"

"That is certainly a word I would use," Johanna replied. Dream gently guided her away from Lucienne and Matthew, who, from what little she could hear, appeared to be talking business that she didn't really understand, and they began to walk through the books. Countless names were written on them, and her fingers itched to look at one of them. However, Johanna felt that this was not something she should do.

"I believe it is time for you to wake up, Johanna," Dream said, her fingers twitching around his for the first time since this little adventure started.

"And you'll be gone when I wake up," she stated. Dream stopped and seemed to hesitate for a moment. Johanna wondered if she had somehow misstepped and done something that would doom her to endless nightmares for the rest of her life.

"Do you want me to be gone?" Dream replied. She studied him among these endless books in a realm he created around her. His hair was maddening, and his cheekbones looked like they could cut glass, but it was his eyes that she often felt like she was getting lost in. Johanna wondered if this was what damnation felt like, and maybe she understood why so many people willingly walked into its embrace.

"No, but only if you want to be," Johanna replied. They hadn't touched on the fact that he was the devil in Rodrick's basem*nt, but she could only imagine what being locked up did. She could only imagine that not many people asked him when it came to what he wanted. He was a King, a being here to serve humanity, so it seemed unlikely that anyone ever asked what his choice in this would be. There was a look of surprise on his face when Johanna said that she only wanted him there if he wanted to be there.

"Perhaps another night," Dream said carefully. He walked closer to her, and Johanna stepped back until her back was pressed against the large bookshelves, his hand still in hers. He loomed over her, and despite it all, she didn't think he would hurt her. Dream used the hand that wasn't holding hers to tuck her hair behind her ear, and Johanna swore she stopped breathing when he leaned in close enough that she could feel his lips against her ear and his soft breath against her skin. "This dream is over, Johanna," Dream whispered, "for now."

+++

Johanna gasped away like she hadn't taken a breath for many hours. She was drenched in a light sheen of sweat, and the room felt too warm and the air too thick. Johanna had also soaked through her underwear like she was a teenager, and if she weren't so painfully close to the edge, she would have been embarrassed. Of course, a dream spent with Dream made her physically react like it was a sex dream. Johanna slipped her hand between her legs and moaned at how good just a little touch felt; she truly was already so close to coming that it was a little pathetic.

That didn't mean Johanna wasn't a glutton for punishment in all aspects of her life. It was early morning, and the rain was pouring outside. She didn't have another job lined up. So Johanna had time to tease herself, get right up to the edge, and then stop just as she was about to come. Johanna wondered if Dream could sense daydreams as well because she was thinking about him; she was thinking about his slim fingers between her legs, his lithe body over hers, his lips on hers, getting her fingers into his hair and holding on as tight as she could. Johanna bit her lip and didn't even try to stop her org*sm this time; she let it take her over to the edge, and she cried out loud enough that if her neighbors weren't already used to her antics, they probably would have made a noise complaint.

"If you do see daydreams, it would be rude to sneak a peak," Johanna whispered, like Dream was in the room or could somehow hear her. She felt relaxed, unbelievably good, and she couldn't remember the last time she came that hard from her own hand and her imagination alone. Johanna let herself bask in the afterglow for a little longer until the wetness between her legs demanded her attention, and she needed to change the sheets. She wasn't sure when it was happening, but it seemed like she might be having company soon, and she was a lady, after all.

After a hot shower, a quick round of laundry for her only set of bed sheets, and carefully collecting the few grains of sand left on the floor, Johanna settled down and wondered what aspect of Dream's life she wanted to research now. He had to know that she was looking into him, understanding all of this was quite literally her job, but now it almost felt invasive. Johanna wondered if she had asked him about his time away and if he would tell her. It seemed like the wrong time, and she pushed the thought from her mind. Instead, she tracked down her ancestors' diaries, who were obsessed with the man who had to be Dream, if the sand in the story was anything to go by, and another man who didn't seem to age. Johanna ran her fingers over the yellowed paper and the rather rough-looking sketch of the two men and wondered who the other man was. She also wondered if Dream would tell her if she asked that question.

Dream didn't come to her that night, and she had just an ordinary dream that didn't have any impact one way or another. Then he didn't come the second night, and Johanna kept an eye out in her dreams to see if he was lurking nearby and wasn't coming near her, but she didn't see him. However, she was reasonably sure Matthew occasionally flew around in the waking world. It was odd because he wasn't following her always; it was like he was sometimes there and sometimes elsewhere, but she assumed that Dream kept his raven busy doing something. It was one of the many things about Dream of the Endless that she didn't understand but very much wanted to.

Four days later, Dream appeared in Johanna's dream as if he had been there the entire time. He calmly walked up to her like it was any other dream and not like he hadn't triggered an extremely intense reaction the last time she saw him. Johanna also knew that she was naked in her bed at home because it was cooler to sleep that way and absolutely no other reason.

"Busy?" Johanna asked as they walked through a forest that looked like something she had seen in books about California. Despite the uneven ground, she never felt like she would trip. It was like the world in front of her was made flat so that she couldn't fall, and Johanna wondered if that was a byproduct of them.

"There is always plenty to be done," Dream replied, but she could tell something else was on his mind. He seemed to be having difficulty finding the words, but Johanna was enjoying the scenery and wasn't in a rush to get away from this dream anytime soon. "There was someone I needed to talk to before I could speak to you."

"You needed to talk to someone else before talking to me?" she repeated, surprised that Dream needed to run whatever was happening between them to someone else. Then she remembered that he was Endless, time did not exist for him, and there was a very good chance that he had other lovers out there. She knew he had a son at one point; for all Johanna knew, he was still with that woman. Johanna laughed when she realized she was watching a god try to stumble around, telling her he was sleeping with other people, not just her. Dream's head jerked up, and for half a moment, it looked like he would be angry. "Oh, Dream, there are far too many fascinating and broken people out there to be with just one. I don't like limitations or labels or anything like that."

"I understand," Dream said carefully, and Johanna was pretty sure he didn't. So she stopped and made sure to telegraph exactly what she was doing when she reached forward and took his wrist into her hand. She pulled Dream forward just a step or two and smirked.

"I'm saying, Dream of the Endless, that if we f*ck and you go off to f*ck someone else, I'm not going to get mad about it," Johanna replied in what she knew was the voice that got men and women to melt. It didn't have the desired effect on Dream, but he did look amused by the attempt.

"I should have counted on you to be blunt about things," Dream said as he stepped closer to her. He was close enough to touch, and Johanna was reminded of the first night they met, standing out, without any space between them. This time, he was looking at her with much more intent. Dream placed one hand on her waist and leaned forward. She thought he would kiss her, but instead, he put his lips against her ear again. "Wake up, Johanna."

+++

If anyone asked, Johanna would deny it until the day that she was inevitably condemned to hell, that she woke up moaning. She sat up and let the blanket fall away from her chest. Dream stood across her room, and his eyes glowed in the darkness. It was electrifying to crock her finger and gesture for him to join her. He was still fully dressed and he made no attempt to recify that, but Johanna didn't care. They had him locked up for a hundred years and even with almost no details she coukdn't imagine it; he had no agency, and she wasn't about to be another one that took that away from him.

Dream crawled across her bed until he leaned over her like a shadow. He still hadn't touched her, and Johanna wasn't going to be the one to break this uneasy thing between them. She made her intentions very clear in that dream and in that daydream that she was reasonably sure he knew about. He knew her answer, but then she remembered that no one ever asked him what he wanted. Maybe he was waiting for her to voice exactly what she wanted. Johanna sat up enough that there was a hairsbreadth between them and looked directly into Dream's eyes.

"I want you," she whispered. It was like whatever barrier was between them shattered as Dream leaned forward and finally kissed her. She should have known that a man who had been around as long as he had was talented with his tongue, but Johanna couldn't remember the last time a simple kiss felt this encompassing. Only a thin sheet covered her, so it was very obvious just how naked she was, but Dream didn't acknowledge it. He seemed keen to drive Johanna a little out of her mind with just his lips. She ran her fingers through his frankly insane-looking hair and settled back on the bed with Dream a comforting weight over her. He shifted away from her mouth and began to slowly make his way down her jawline to her neck, where he found that spot that only a few of her lovers before had found.

"Do you know that I can sense daydreams?" Dream whispered against her skin, "especially when they are very vivid and even more so when I am in them."

"I mentioned after the fact that you shouldn't be sneaking a peak beforehand," Johanna replied, a little embarrassed at how breathless she already sounded. Her entire body felt like a livewire, and he was barely touching her. One of Dream's hands slowly made his way down to her breast and circled one of her nipples between his fingers.

"I didn't hear that part, I'm afraid," he replied, and Johanna was a little annoyed that he didn't even seem affected by any of this. "I am rarely in people's dreams, so even a daydream like that called to me like a siren. It felt like a taunt." Johanna jerked when Dream bit the tender skin on her collarbone.

"It was a taunt," Johanna replied, and Dream sat up enough to look her in the eye. There was something predatory about how he was looking at her right now that shouldn't have turned her on as much as it did. "It was a tease to show you exactly what I want and what you could have if you want it." She pulled Dream up for another kiss as they both worked to get the sheet out of the way. The cool air felt so good against her overheated skin, and even though he was still fully clothed, everywhere he touched her skin was electric. Dream suddenly broke the kiss and sat up enough to unbutton his black jacket and toss it off to the side. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt, and it seemed scandalous just to see his arms. He made no move to remove any other clothing and laid down with her again, drawing Johanna into another kiss while slipping one of his legs in between hers. Even the denim against her bare skin made Johanna moan into Dream's mouth.

He was driving her a little out of her mind, and Johanna was about to tell him to f*cking touch her before she went crazy when he finally put his hand between her thighs. He was barely touching her, which wasn't nearly enough; Johanna jerked her hips to try and get any friction, but Dream managed to keep from chasing her org*sm. When he finally slipped a finger inside of her, Johanna was sure that she had soaked through her mattress, and she couldn't remember the last time a man made her this wet. Women knew how to get her here, but men often didn't take the time, but Dream had all the time in the world, and he was spending it driving her out of her f*cking mind.

Johanna thought it wouldn't take long after that; she was so close, but then Dream would stop just before she came. The second time it happened, Johanna realized what was going on. She groaned in frustration as he smirked down at her.

"You got that detail from the daydream, too?" she asked and cried out when Dream twisted his fingers just the right way.

"It was quite illuminating," he replied. Johanna was about to make some snarky comment or tell him to f*cking hurry up when Dream finally moved his thumb in just the right way, and she finally came. It was an incredibly intense org*sm, and once again, she was glad that her neighbors were used to all of this because Johanna was sure she nearly screamed. When she could see straight again, she could still feel his hand between her legs, gently touching her, but Johanna didn't think she would ever see a smug look on Dream's face. She pulled him down to kiss it off of his lips.

Usually, Johanna wasn't one for afterglow since she usually had places to be or something going on, but it was the middle of the night, and no jobs were lined up. So she let herself make out with Dream, slow like syrup, for as long as she pleased. Johanna ran her hands along the exposed skin of his arms and could feel his back muscles moving with his t-shirt. Eventually, after what felt like half a lifetime, she managed to break away from his frankly addicting mouth and closed her to bask a little. Johanna closed her eyes and relaxed a little; it seemed pretty clear to her that this was all they would be doing tonight.

She felt Dream shift next to her, but he didn't climb out of the bed like she thought he would. Instead, he just settled down next to her in the bed, on his back, close enough that their arms were touching. Their fingers occasionally touched, but Johanna didn't feel the need to say much of anything. She needed to get up, clean herself up, and change the sheets, and she wasn't much of a "stay the night" kind of person. Eventually, it became hard to ignore, and she crawled out of bed and walked across to the bathroom. Dream was in her bed, sitting on his elbows, watching her carefully.

Johanna wondered if she should offer him anything, but Dream said nothing, and she closed the bathroom door behind her. She had no idea if he would be out there waiting for her when she emerged from the bathroom but decided that if he wanted to stay longer, he would, and what she did didn't matter. So, a quick shower made her feel much better, and she was glad to find the t-shirt in the clean laundry pile. Maybe she should invest in some sleep clothes. Dream was on his feet, and his jacket was back on when she walked out.

"Work to do?" she asked.

"Always," Dream replied. "I will seek you out in your dreams when I can see you again. There are some things I would like to tell you."

"Anytime," Johanna said. She wasn't expecting a good night's kiss. Dream didn't seem like the type, but he did step close and breathe in her presence like that was enough to settle him. Like just being near her was enough. She closed her eyes and waited; there was a slight breeze, and he was gone when she opened her eyes. Yet again, he left some grains of sand on the ground. Johanna knelt down and carefully added them to her collection, still unsure where the compulsion to keep the sand was coming from.

+++

For the first time since Johanna had seen Dream again, she slept that night and didn't dream. Or she didn't remember what she was dreaming about. It didn't quite unsettle her, but after so many days of remembering everything so vividly, coming back to nothing was enough to make her think of it before. She forced the thought from her mind and continued with her day. She worked a few jobs, searching down cursed items and an exorcism that seemed like it was going to be run-of-the-mill. The demon turned to her, its face snarling as it was about to threaten or beg her not to send it back to hell, but it stared at her. It made Johanna hesitate because this was the first time a demon had acted like this with her. The hesitation and staring only lasted a moment so fast that she thought she might be imagining it.

"Don't send me back there," the demon said, "I don't want to go back, don't send me back." It was saying all the words that Johanna was used to hearing from them, but something about them just felt off. She couldn't hold this forever, though, and she had to finish the exorcism. The demon screamed as it dissolved from sight, and everything should have been right, but it still felt wrong somehow. Johanna knelt down, held her hand over the spot where the demon had just vanished, and closed her eyes. She could feel the fury of the demon but nothing more. She collected her fee and made her way back to her flat.

It was nearly two weeks before Dream revealed himself to her in her dreams again, not that Johanna hadn't been teasing him a little. Now that she knew about the daydream and how it would affect it, she suddenly needed to get off a lot more regularly. She didn't, however, dream about him because she wasn't sure if that would be a figment of her imagination or the real man, and she didn't know if he would have a choice if he appeared. Johanna was wandering a village that looked like somewhere in Eastern Europe. It looked familiar, but she couldn't exactly place it when a hand reached out and pulled her into an alley. Before she could react, a dark shadow pressed her against the wall.

"You're an infuriating woman," Dream hissed and kissed her hard enough to bruise. It was probably the most forceful he had ever been with her, and Johanna wasn't going to lie and say she wasn't into it. Usually, she was the dominant one in bed, but she had a feeling trying to dominate Dream here, in the Dreaming, was not going to work. So she gave in to it and let him kiss the air from her lungs. She pulled him close and held on for dear life. Finally, he broke away and stared down at her.

"Was it the daydreams?" Johanna whispered, and Dream made a strangled noise. "Were they impossible to ignore? Did they get to you?"

"I should have known better than to fall into bed with a Constantine again," he said against her mouth, which was new information. She would have to go back through her family tree and see who kept that dirty little secret. "You're a menace."

"So I've been told," Johanna replied, pulling him into another kiss. They stayed pressed against that alley long enough that she seriously considered asking him to end the dream when he finally pulled away and closed his eyes. She could see him gathering his composure, and as much as she wanted to poke at it, she remembered that he said there were things he needed to tell her. So Johanna stayed close, slowed her heart down, and didn't say anything. Dream eventually opened his eyes, and he looked a little relieved to see her just standing there, not attempting to tempt him in any way.

"Come with me," he said. Johanna allowed him to guide her from the dream to his palace in the blink of an eye. They were in the throne room, but something about it felt more closed off now. If she tried to find any doors, there wouldn't be any, which was intentional. It seemed he didn't want to vocalize all of this to his entire kingdom, which she could respect. They both settled down at the bottom of the staircase beneath his throne and looked up at the sky in the ceiling. "You guessed correct; when we first met, I was the devil Burgess was keeping in his basem*nt."

"I figured," Johanna replied. "I also did a little math and realized that the timing lined up that you got taken and the sleeping sickness came; that was from him keeping you captured?"

"Yes," Dream said, "and it wasn't just that. The damage to your world and the Dreaming was vast. In some ways, I'm still rebuilding it and fixing everything that was left to fall to ruin while I was gone. There are details, however, that I believe I should tell you."

"If you don't want to, you don't have to," she said, but he shook his head.

"No, they are important because they impact how I act around you, and I dislike it. I dislike that it is still affecting me profoundly," he explained. Johanna stared at him like she didn't believe what she was hearing.

"It's been a few weeks since you were set free, right?" she asked, and he nodded. "And you're surprised it is still affecting you? That is no time at all; of course, it is." Johanna's voice was a little more exasperated than she intended, but it made him chuckle a little for some reason.

"You are the second person to tell me that," Dream said. "As I said, it is still affecting me, and how I act around you, so I feel the need to explain it. The cage they kept me in was made of iron and glass with a binding circle on the ground that kept me powerless. They took my clothing and left me bare, with nothing, in that glass ball for over a hundred years. Burgess feared what I would do if I ever regained my freedom, so guards were always watching me. There was not a moment that I was alone, yet I was also away from everyone simultaneously." Johanna could hear how angry he still was about all of this, and she could only imagine what that would do to someone. "So I've been informed by someone else that this has made me a little "touch starved," so I enjoy being close to you even if we are not touching. I am also uncomfortable with the idea of removing my clothing at the moment. If these are reasons you would like to stop having sex, then we will stop."

It was a lot to take in, and Johanna wanted to call Burgess back from hell so she could give him a piece of her mind, but that wasn't what she would do. She remembered that he was looking for his sand and he told her that it was a part of him. So not only did they display him naked, but they cut away pieces and then took them away. Her rage wouldn't help this situation, and a partner willing to tell her exactly what they were comfortable with in such a frank way was rare.

"Thank you for telling me," Johanna replied when she was sure that the anger in her voice wouldn't be too apparent. "None of those are too much for me to handle. I'm sure we can figure out other ways to enjoy ourselves." When she glanced over at Dream, she could see that he was watching her carefully, but then he nodded. "How much of this would you like me to keep to myself?"

"Many know that I was captured and taken against my will, but only one other knows all of the details I just shared with you," Dream replied. "I learned recently that my capture was orchestrated by one of my siblings, and that does not sit right with me. I'm hesitant to allow many of them or others I do not get along with to see this kind of weakness in me." The sibling comment threw Johanna for a loop, but she didn't allow it to completely knock her off her feet. Another time, she would ask him about that; that wasn't what they were discussing right now.

"Consider it told to me in confidence," Johanna replied. She wasn't sure how much her word meant to Dream; she remembered him saying that no one in her family was trustworthy, but Johanna knew about waiting to keep weakness from others who could exploit it. However, the idea of someone who could make Dream nervous enough that he wanted to hide parts of himself away made her very uneasy. There couldn't be much in the universe that would make an Endless afraid, and Johanna wasn't sure she wanted to find out what it could possibly be.

Despite how this interaction started, it didn't seem like the right time to take Dream to bed, either in the real world or in the Dreaming. So Johanna allowed him to show her more of his realm and things so impossible that they could only exist in dreams. The heaviness of the previous conversation still lingered, but Johanna felt they had taken some real steps forward. She was also looking forward to doing some planning to figure out how she could effectively have sex with this man while taking off as few of his clothes as possible.

She was a woman with needs, after all.

+++

It was strange to settle into a routine, but it felt like she did. Johanna often didn't trust it when the world felt too easy, but maybe this was the one time when that was okay. She had what was essentially a god looking over her shoulder almost always. Matthew was around when Dream would vanish for days at a time. It didn't bother her too much because she knew he was nearby and watching her. Besides, she was plenty busy herself and keeping an eye on things.

Not long after their talk, Dream ended up in her flat, and they kissed on the bed. Now that Johanna knew how he felt about clothing, she had bought some actual sleep shorts and some shirts to climb into bed with; otherwise, it was a little odd to be in bed with someone fully clothed. Dream's hands were beginning to sneak into her underwear, where she was already wet and wanting, but she stopped him. He froze when she even indicated that she wanted him to stop; what a novel concept for a man.

"I have an idea," she whispered into his skin. "I'm afraid it will require you to do something you might not want to do."

"And what is that, exactly?" Dream asked, but he already sounded like he knew what she would ask him.

"You're going to have to trust me a little," Johanna replied. Dream raised an eyebrow at her and took a moment to think it over. She would have been insulted if she hadn't known that there was a ton of history between her family and him. "If you want to stop, we can stop at any time, the same way you just stopped for me."

"Very well, what would you have me do?" Dream asked, and Johanna smirked as she moved out of his arms.

"Lay down on your back for me," she said. He did so; he had taken off his jacket at least, so he was in his jeans, a t-shirt, and his boots. Johanna slipped her shorts off but kept her underwear and t-shirt on. She watched him carefully as she climbed on top of him and settled onto his lap. This was the kind of sex that she was much more used to having, and the idea of having any dominance over an Endless was rather tantalizing. Johanna rolled her hips a little, and Dream reached out to place his hands on them. "Here is what I'm going to do," she explained as she continued to roll her hips and tease him. "I'm going to open your jeans and move them just enough to take you out, no more. How does that sound to you?" She was very pleased that she got a small groan out of Dream when she rolled her hips again.

"I think that will work," Dream replied, but he didn't allow her to do much of anything. He pulled her down into a kiss as she continued to move against him. He was distracting her with that talented tongue of his, and she wasn't going to allow that to happen. Johanna pulled away and fully up. She telegraphed all of her moves as she slid down a little and unbuttoned Dream's jeans. They were a little on the tight side, so they both had to wiggle in a rather undignified matter to get them down just low enough that Johanna could pull him into her hand.

She looked into his eyes again, and from what she could tell, Dream still looked okay. She moved up so she was hovering over him on her knees. Johanna should have let him stretch her with his fingers, but it had been a long time since she had been with a man, and she was a glutton for punishment. It took some fancy handwork on her part to move her underwear to the side enough for Dream to finally side into her. His hands were back on her hips, but Johanna could barely feel them, too focused on how good he felt. The contrast between her bare thighs and his clothing felt incredible.

Johanna slowly began to move and had to throw her head back; it felt so good. It was a little frightening how lost she was in this because he was somehow hitting that perfect spot in her without even trying. She almost wanted to make a joke about if this was one of his abilities as an Endless, but all of her words had left her. Johanna was chasing her own release, trying to get there as fast as possible, when Dream sat up and pulled her deeper into his lap. She didn't have the leverage to move as much now, but the angle still felt incredible. Now, all she could do was roll her hips and try to make that enough, but Johanna knew it wouldn't be. She groaned, far too turned on and more than a little frustrated, as Dream began to kiss her neck. Johanna needed more, but she hadn't begged a day in her life; she wasn't about to start now.

Apparently, she was going to start making the most pathetic-sounding little whimpers that Johanna was almost embarrassed for herself.

"f*ck," she cried out when Dream bit down on the tender part of her neck that would be impossible to hide without some concealer. It sent a jolt of pleasure through her entire body, but it still wasn't enough, and at this point, she was sure that Dream was purposely doing this to her yet again. Johanna was about to yell at him and tell him to lie down and let her get on with it when he suddenly flipped them over. It was so fast that Johanna didn't even realize it happened until Dream pressed her into the mattress. If she was being charitable, she might think that he was quite literally f*cking her brains out because all she could do was wrap her legs around his waist and pull him down into a rough kiss. She was close, right there, when Dream bent her leg and changed the angle, and Johanna nearly bit his lip as she came. She also might have managed to dig her nails into his skin through his t-shirt.

Johanna was still coming down when Dream began to move again, and this really was a reminder that this man had been having various forms of sex for as long as humanity existed. Of course, he was fantastic at it; she wasn't sure why she expected anything less. He was still hard inside her, and Johanna wondered what he was waiting for when he released her leg, changed the angle again, and moved his fingers between her legs. Apparently, one time wasn't enough. She was fairly sure she cried out some variation of "oh god," as Dream moved those damn talented fingers of his between her legs. Dream nibbled on her ear and pressed his lips there just like he did in the library.

"Again," he said, and despite how much she did not want to obey him out of sheer pettiness, her body apparently had other ideas because she came again, somehow harder. Johanna felt Dream jerk his hips and pressed his moan into the skin of her neck that was covered in bruises, she was sure. They were both breathing hard, and she didn't exactly want to move away from him just yet. Dream must have agreed with that sentiment because he shifted just enough to look into her eyes and kiss her softly. This was unlike any other kiss they had shared before, and if there was one thing Dream had done recently, it was kiss and hold her like she was something precious. She didn't deserve that.

However, Johanna's legs weren't working, and he was a fantastic kisser. They were both covered in sweat, and she could only imagine the state of his pants after having her on top of him for a while, but that seemed to be a problem for them. Eventually, Dream shifted enough that he was no longer inside of her, and Johanna allowed herself to bask a little in the afterglow as he continued to touch her. It was good enough that she thought she would fall asleep, and that wouldn't be a good idea. Johanna opened her eyes to Dream, watching her very carefully.

"I'm assuming all of that was okay?" she asked.

"Yes, it was; it seems I was right to trust a Constantine this time," Dream replied. Johanna rolled her eyes and climbed out of bed. She tossed her clothing on the floor as she went to the bathroom. Whatever Dream needed to do, he could do it in privacy; she wouldn't take that away from him. It seemed she was right that he had left quite the array on her neck, but Johanna was fairly sure she could cover it. A quick shower and bathroom run made her feel much more human. Dream was fully dressed, coat included, when she walked out in nothing. As she walked over to get new sleep clothes, his eyes followed her every move. Maybe she was putting on a little show as she got dressed, but Johanna was sure that no one could prove that. When she turned around, Dream was a lot closer. She was about to ask him if he would leave when he kissed her again, softly, as he did before, and it still was the most frightening thing he had done so far. "Be safe, Johanna," he said against her mouth.

"Aren't I always?" Johanna replied, but the humor was a little lost with how breathless she sounded. Dream huffed a laugh and took several steps back. In a whirl of sand, he was gone. She stared at the spot momentarily, ignored this weird feeling in her chest, and gathered the grains left behind. When Johanna slept that night, she didn't dream and was thankful for it.

+++

Johanna tried to put the way that Dream occasionally acted around her from her mind and just enjoy the excellent sex for what it was. It was a lot easier to process that than trying to think that he might care for her a little more than just as a sexual partner and maybe an ally if the situation called for it. However, the more she learned about him, the more everything about this world seemed to set her on edge. Even with everything she had studied and the many years of research her family had put into everything that couldn't be explained, it seemed that she still didn't know anything. and that felt weak. Johanna did not like being vulnerable, so she tried to get as much information from Dream and Matthew as possible when he would land and speak to her occasionally.

She was planning on spending the day talking to her contacts so she could find a new job. Dream had stopped by the night before and buried his face between her legs for so long that Johanna thought she might actually die. He made her come three times before she managed to get the upper hand on him and get his clothing where it needed to be so they could f*ck. He was still incredible at it and left tiny pieces of himself on her floor when he vanished from sight. Johanna hadn't told her about keeping the sand, but now she had a small pile of it in a vial. It was likely worth something, but she wasn't sure if the cost would be worth it.

So she was looking for a job, and Matthew was sitting on her windowsill, chattering away like he didn't have a care in the world. Johanna often ignored him because Matthew would tell her about things happening in the Dreaming, but today, he talked about not long after he and Dream met. In fact, it wasn't long before she helped him get his sand back.

"It wasn't what I expected, but I guess you couldn't put a finger on what you would expect when it comes to that," Matthew said.

"What did what look like?" Johanna asked, not really paying attention.

"Hell," Matthew replied, and Johanna froze. Matthew and, by extension, Dream had been to hell recently, which meant he could know some way to get Astra back. However, she needed more information first, so she plastered her usual smirk and looked over at Matthew.

"I suppose that's true," Johanna said as she returned to her things. Now, she was just looking busy and paying attention to every detail Matthew told her. If she took notes while he explained the little adventure, then it was just her taking notes for the next job she would do, of course. Matthew told her a tale of Dream and him walking through hell, meeting one of Dream's former lovers that he had damned there when she had betrayed him, which was certainly something that she should have learned before now, and meeting Lucifer herself.

Matthew had a hard time putting words to the battle that he witnessed between Lucifer and Dream, but apparently, there are rules when it comes to beings like them fighting. Johanna supposed that she should be thankful for that; otherwise, they could accidentally annihilate the entire planet and not even realize it. While those details were good to know, they weren't the ones that Johanna latched onto. It was the fact that Dream had a way into hell, so maybe that meant he could help her pull Astra out. Perhaps he could help her fix her greatest mistake.

Of course, Dream would vanish for an extended amount of time, so her anxiety about the entire situation only got worse. She wasn't sure which question she wanted to ask him about first but decided that maybe bringing up this lover he damned to hell was the right way to go. From there, she could lead him to help free Astra. It was the middle of the night, and Johanna was reading when she felt that familiar breeze behind her. She turned around and saw Dream standing in her living room, and he looked a little amused.

"Late night?" he asked.

"Research," Johanna replied, but she didn't move to get up. Dream watched her carefully momentarily, then slowly walked over and sat on her couch. Seeing him look so human was strange, but she ignored those feelings and pushed through. There was nothing more important than getting Astra back. "Matthew has been telling me many tales about your adventures?"

"I'm sure he has," Dream said, and he did sound a little annoyed. Johanna felt a little bad for half a second, as she was likely about to get Matthew in trouble with his boss, but nothing else mattered. She was going to power through all of this.

"He told me about getting your helm back," Johanna said. She watched Dream's face and could see when he started to shut down. She would have stopped talking if she were a good person and realized he did not want to discuss this. Johanna was not a good person, so she powered on. "He told me about a woman named Nada."

"What of her?" Dream asked after a prolonged silence. His tone of voice reminded her of their first meeting, which didn't bode well for any of this. However, this could be the thing that pushes him away, so she had to power on.

"As someone sleeping with you, I feel like I should have been informed that a consequence of such was getting damned to hell," Johanna replied, raising her voice just a little so Dream knew she was serious. For half a moment, she wondered if he was about to throw the words "I thought you already were" back at her, but he didn't.

"That was a long time ago," Dream said.

"And Matthew said she just asked you to let her out while you were there recently, and you didn't. So, is this what happens when people sleep with you? You damn them to hell?" Johanna stood up and clenched her fists. Dream was also on his feet, and he towered over her, but she stood her ground.

"You could not even begin to understand any of it," Dream said lowly. "Rest assured, Johanna Constantine, if you do not betray me, we will not have any issues."

"And what exactly constitutes a betrayal? Are you going to lay out a f*cking list for me so I know what I have to do to keep my eternal soul safe?" Johanna snapped, but this was getting off-topic. She needed to strike now. "You could bring Nada out of hell; that is something you could do?"

"Yes," Dream said as he narrowed his eyes, "but I don't understand what that has to do with this discussion."

"So, should you damn me? I know you could pull me out if I wanted," Johanna said. "Or, you could help me pull out someone who never deserved to go there in the first place." She was paying attention so Johanna could see that whatever Dream expected her to say wasn't this. "You can help me get Astra out of there."

"You want me to pull Astra out of hell for you," Dream said.

"Yes, that is what I want you to do," Johanna replied. Dream stared at her again before something in him broke, and he smiled just a little. It wasn't a good smile; it was very bitter, and he laughed a little to himself. He stepped away from her and shook his head as if she had just told a joke. Johanna was about to say to him that Astra was not a f*cking joke for him to be laughing about when he spoke.

"My sister reminded me of why I need to stay connected to you humans, but it's so obvious that you have no idea what is happening in the universe around you. You have no idea how this world works and the rules that exist to keep everything from falling into anarchy," Dream said as he looked her dead in the eyes. "You think me a god, but I am not; I'm one of the Endless, and I cannot simply walk into hell and demand a soul because of a mistake you made. You're a mortal; you cannot possibly know what you ask of me, which is why I keep my distance from all of you. You don't understand anything about what I do and what impact anything I do can have on the world.

"Matthew couldn't tell you this, but I can," Dream continued, "None of my siblings could help me out of my prison, and the reason they couldn't help me was because I didn't ask. If I don't ask, they cannot come, a rule that I'm assuming would make absolutely no sense to you, but that is how things are done. To make a move on hell like that would mean war between the Dreaming and Hell, and no soul is worth a war, and certainly not one that you are only trying to save for assuaging your own guilt."

"Of course, I feel f*cking guilty about what happened to her, anyone with a heart would, but it seems that you don't consider how you're going to continue to let another woman rot in there for doing something to make you angry," Johanna snapped.

"Fear not, Constantine, I won't be the one to damn you to Hell," Dream said replied. The wording of that statement felt very deliberate and set her teeth on edge. She wanted to hit him, but she wasn't sure if it would make a difference. "You won't be getting what you want from me, so when I need of you or your descendants again, I'll find you." Johanna was about to tell him that he could f*ck right off for all she cared when he did exactly that, f*cked off, and vanished without another word and in a cloud of sand. As always, there were pieces of him left on the floor, and she wanted to kick them. However, Johanna knew the power of things, so she gathered the sand and added it to the vile.

She rolled the small glass through her fingers and looked at the sand. It looked like sand you would find anywhere, but Johanna knew this sand was a part of the Sandman. That is what Dream told her when they first met, that the sand was part of him, and she held a very small part of him in her hands. She wasn't sure why it felt important to remind herself of that, but she did. Johanna didn't think that Dream would go against his word and hurt her, but perhaps it was time to look into the book that had trapped him in the first place. She had promised to keep it safe, and she had been, but now seemed like the right time to pull it out.

Johanna had no desire to trap the Sandman or anyone else, but knowing some of the magic that could do such a thing could only benefit her now. Once again, she was alone, and there wasn't anyone looking out for her. She silently scolded herself for getting so complacent, knowing that Dream was in her mind and Matthew was watching her in the real world. Johanna worked alone, and it was time to rectify that.

It was late, and there wasn't any reason to do all that now. So Johanna climbed onto her couch, fully clothed as she used to before she had a regular bedmate again, and closed her eyes. She slept; when she dreamed, it was like any other dream, and Johanna was alone.

+++

Johanna threw herself back into her research and work without looking back. She refused to feel bad about using a connection available to her to try and get Astra back. There was nothing wrong with her asking Dream to help her. It was on him to take it as personally as he did. Maybe she was a bit harsh leading into the conversation about Nada, but Johanna hadn't realized how much that story scared her until she confronted him. The idea that no one knew what she did to make him so angry was even worse. How angry could she make Dream the Endless before she suffered the same fate? Were there other descendants of her that he had thrown into the pit? There was no way to tell, but that didn't stop her from looking into it as much as she could.

Her first descendant to write about Dream was Lady Johanna Constantine, with whom she shared a name, and her notes were interesting. They started as vague mentions of men meeting in the same tavern every 100 years and became more detailed as the centuries passed. Johanna never stopped to think about why Dream would be meeting someone in some random tavern before now. He spoke of humans with such disdain recently, and Matthew had mentioned that he was better than before he was taken. Who could he possibly be meeting?

There was no way it was a human because that person would be hundreds of years old, and Johanna didn't care how talented someone was; they couldn't hold back death. She had met many people who dabbled in magic, including Burgess, as Dream found out, who thought they could find a way to eternal life, but it just didn't exist. Death came for everyone, so maybe it was Death that Dream was meeting.

He had mentioned his siblings in mostly vague terms, but Johanna could only imagine that other Endless were also things once linked to gods in history. Death had to be one of them; it just made sense, and Johanna was part of the natural circle of life in the same way that Dream was. All things died, and all things dreamed, hence the need for both of them. So maybe she was meeting one of his siblings in that tavern.

That also didn't make much sense because why meet there? They could meet anywhere and anytime, and Johanna assumed there was some way to hide from human eyes. From Lady Johanna's notes, the man that Dream was with fought her men and defended himself like he needed to defend himself. Dream, however, barely moved until he threw the Lady into a nightmare she couldn't escape for far too long. If Dream were nonplussed, it would stand to reason that one of his siblings would be just as nonchalant about someone threatening them, yet this man fought back.

This whole thing sent her down a rabbit hole, and Johanna was so deep that she nearly jumped when her mobile rang. She looked up and realized she had lost track of time and didn't know what day it was. The phone rang again, so she answered.

"Hello?" she asked, not really paying attention. She wanted to tell this person to f*ck off because she was busy right now.

"Johanna Constantine?" a voice asked on the other line. It wasn't anyone that she knew, and that was surprising. Nearly all of her recent jobs had come from repeat customers, aside from the detective in the States looking for an answer to the serial killers suddenly gaining empathy.

"I am; who is this?" Johanna asked.

"My name is Nora, and I'm--" Nora hesitated, and it was clear that she wasn't sure how many details she should be giving right now.

"Just Nora is fine, and what you do is irrelevant unless it has something to do with what you need from me," Johanna said.

"It does, and it does," Nora replied. "I have an issue that can't be explained with medicine, and the person said something strange to me when it first happened. No one can explain what happened to them, and I was wondering if you could come to take a look?"

"You think it's something I could take care of?" Johanna asked, but she was already up and moving about. The things that medical science couldn't explain were usually somewhere in her wheelhouse, so she needed to take a look. If nothing else, it could be another demon, and she needed to ensure that demon got sent back to hell. She was in for a long trip to undo it if it was a curse, but if anyone could figure it out, Johanna knew she could.

"All other resources have been exhausted, and I was given your name by someone who didn't want me to mention their name," Nora replied. "Can you at least come and look? If you tell me that I'm off my rocker and this is just some unexplained medical issue, then at least we've ruled something else out. I have some money the person gave me near the beginning when they were still lucid more than they weren't, and I can use it to pay your fee."

"You've piqued my interest, if nothing else, Nora; where am I going?" Johanna replied. Nora gave her the address of the long-term care facility across town, and Johanna spent the morning getting ready for this. She was tired and couldn't remember the last time she slept, but she was awake enough to do this. Johanna could always return after getting more sleep if it was something that she would have to handle.

It was late afternoon when she got to the facility, and a young woman with dark hair was waiting outside for her. Johanna wasn't the only one who looked a little dead on her feet. She smiled briefly when Johanna walked up to her.

"Constantine?"

"You must be, Nora, all right, on with it. Let's see what happened here. Or tell me what happened," Johanna said. Nora nodded and then walked in the front door. Nora was not a nurse, but the staff let her walk in as she worked there, which was interesting. She carried herself like someone familiar with medicine, perhaps someone studying medicine.

"His name is Richard Madoc; you might have heard of his books?" Nora explained, and Johanna shrugged because she didn't get much time for casual reading, but the name sounded familiar. "A month ago, he was lecturing and just kept talking. He said they were ideas, but it was like they couldn't stop, and half of them were gibberish that didn't make sense. He ran out of the lecture, and when I found him, he had written words all over the walls in the hallway in blood." Nora reached into her pocket and handed Johanna some pictures of the words. They weren't any spell; they just looked like the bare bones of ideas, and most didn't make any sense to her. So, the words weren't an attempt to summon anything.

"What happened next?" Johanna asked, and she handed Nora the photos back.

"He was taken to the hospital, and he asked me to go to his place," Nora hesitated like this was something she didn't want to say. "He said there was a woman in a locked room in his flat, and I needed to go 'free her.' There wasn't anything but a copy of a book. When I got back, he stopped the endless talking, but now it was like he wasn't there. He kept saying that he couldn't remember "him" or "her," but now his mind was almost empty. It was like someone opened the dam's floodgates and let everything spill out in a brilliant rush that didn't last long, and when the gates closed again, there wasn't any water left. There just isn't anything left, and he has slipped in and out of coherency since then. As far as we can tell, he's fine medically but has difficulty forming a single thought. He used to be a prolific writer, and now he can't write a sentence. It was all so sudden, and no medical issue that is sudden like that wouldn't leave a scar in some way."

They stopped in front of a room, and the door was open. Johanna looked inside and saw an older man sitting in a chair, staring out the window. He was frowning and looked deep in thought but also frustrated. Johanna glanced at Nora, who nodded and allowed her to enter the room. She didn't hide her presence, and Richard looked up when she walked in. His face was familiar in a vague way as if she had seen him in the tabloids at some point.

"Hello, Richard," Johanna said, letting her voice go up an octave or two to see if that might help set him at ease. He was trying to form a sentence, and she waited for him. It took a very long time.

"Do I know you?" he asked slowly as if he wasn't sure if those were the right words, but they were clear and had no slur to them.

"I'm afraid not; Nora asked me to come in and look at you. I specialized in other ways people are hurt, and maybe it's something I can fix," Johanna explained. "I know speaking and forming sentences is hard for you, so I'm going to ask you a 'yes' or 'no' question, and you just nod or shake your head, yeah?" Richard blinked and stared at her for a long time until he finally nodded.

"Excellent. Do you remember anything about your time before you began to speak a lot?" she asked, and Richard nodded. "Good. Are those memories clear?" Richard frowned and held up a hand to signal "sort of." "Do you have blank spaces in them, like parts have been removed?" he nodded. That didn't surprise her, and Johanna would normally think this was some possession gone wrong, but a demon would have left a mark that she could feel on him, and she didn't feel anything. Nora was quite right that this wasn't a medical issue, but it wasn't reading like anything she had seen before. "Nora said you mentioned a man and a woman right after the speaking ended. Do you still not remember who they were?" Richard shook his head rather definitively. "May I touch your face?" Johanna asked. Richard looked surprised by that request but nodded. Nothing in him felt supernatural, dark, or demonic, yet Nora was quite right; there wasn't a medical explanation for any of this either. "Thank you," Johanna said as she stepped away from him. "I'm going to spend some time looking into your case, so I'll be back, alright?" Richard nodded and looked back out the window with a heavy sigh.

Nora was waiting for her outside the door, leaning against the wall, frowning deeply. When Johanna walked out, she looked up. "Did you mean it? Are you going to look into it?"

"No medical or explanation that I can define either; let's just say I enjoy a good puzzle," Johanna replied.

+++

Unfortunately for Johanna, the first thing she needed to try to get more information on Richard was to look into his life, which meant reading his books. Nora seemed to think that Richard "put a lot of himself" into his books, and maybe something in there could help her figure out why this man seemed to have such a hard time forming a thought. There was a chance that whatever happened to him was just traumatic to his mind, and it needed time to recover; that would be her diagnosis if she didn't find anything else, but something bothered her about this.

The books were the type of dribble that got people a lot of praise for doing the bare minimum. The stories were interesting and well planned out, but there was something about the characters that she didn't like. The way this man wrote about women was supposed to be empowering; so many of his fans and critics praised him for his ability to write about women, but something about them felt off. The more she dug into the smaller corners of the internet, the more she found whispered discussions that Richard was not the feminist he claimed to be. Johanna thought that was interesting and spoke to some disconnect between the story and the characters, but she wasn't sure if that was enough. She noted it and found a way into Richard's home.

The second she walked into the flat, it was like getting kicked in the chest with bad energy. The whole place was dripping, and Johanna swore she could see it coating everything like a sludge. To anyone sensitive, it would make this entire place feel like it was off, and they wanted to leave, but to someone trained like her, it was a lot.

"What have you been up to, Richard Madoc?" Johanna asked and waited to see if the ghosts in this house had any answers for her. It seemed that whatever left this feeling all over the flat had left and wasn't here anymore. Was it here because Richard was doing something, or was it just an after-effect of whatever happened to him lingering behind? She didn't think it was the latter because the energy felt thick, like it had spent years coating things. Whatever this was, it was not a one-time event. The sign in the closet that said, "Please don't go upstairs!" looked like it got a lot of use and was interesting. There were stories about some parties that Richard would throw, and it seemed he didn't want people snooping around his home.

Johanna looked upstairs and waited to see if anything would attack her just for coming up there. If this were something territorial, she would have a rude awakening very soon, but Nora said she was up here after the event, and nothing happened to her. Johanna walked up the stairs and began to poke her way through the bathroom and Richard's bedroom; the coat of bad energy was thicker there. However, Johanna stopped when she found a door with a lock on the outside.

"A woman in a locked room," Johanna whispered, and she opened the door. To the naked eye, the room was empty, but to her, it was too much. Whatever happened in this room was the thing that left the sludge all over the house. Something was forming in her mind, but Johanna didn't understand how Richard could have possibly held a woman captive, and no one noticed. Surely, she must have needed food or water or anything. Johanna made a note to go through his back records and see if that could tell her anything, but she didn't like the idea forming in her mind.

+++

The bank records did yield something interesting. Right before his second book was published, Richard had bought many things that made it look like he was trying to woo someone, but he never mentioned a wife or a girlfriend. However, the purchases stopped after a little while and never happened again. There was no way he could hide those purchases or an entire human in that room without someone noticing. It would have gotten too messy, and that room, while dirty with bad energy, was pristine. Nothing aside from the locks made it look like a prison.

Johanna spent some more time with Richard and tried to ask him about the room, but he seemed confused and didn't answer her about it. Nora didn't seem to have any answers about the room either, but Johanna knew that Richard was up to something that wasn't natural.

"Did he ever possess anything strange?" Johanna asked as Nora walked Johanna toward her taxi. "Did he ever request anything that you couldn't explain?"

"In August 2018, he did ask me for something and made me swear not to tell anyone what I gave him," Nora said, and she hesitated.

"I'm not the police or the university, Nora; I don't give a f*ck what you stole," Johanna replied.

"He wanted a genuine trichobezoar," Nora replied, and Johanna gestured for her to continue. "It's a mass removed from the stomach of a woman who has eaten her own hair. It was a weird thing to ask for, but I thought he might need it for his book research. I didn't really want it back, so I didn't ask what he did with it." Nora suddenly looked a little frantic. "Does that have something to do with what's happening to him? Am I responsible for this?" Johanna stopped and looked Nora in the eye.

"The only ones responsible for what happened to Richard are the one who did it and Richard himself. All you did was get him something. If he wanted one, he would have found another way to get one, with or without your help," Johanna replied. That seemed to ease Nora's guilt, and Johanna got into her taxi. She gathered up her belongings and went back to Richard's flat. If she was going to figure this out, she needed to be here, which meant staying in that room.

It was late into the night, or perhaps very early morning, when Johanna was thinking of getting a little sleep when she felt a presence behind her. She turned around, and Dream was standing in the room's doorway.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Client," Johanna replied. "The guy who lives here went out of his mind for a few hours and now has difficulty forming a coherent thought. Medical science can't figure it out, so they called me."

"Let this go, Constantine," Dream said. Johanna narrowed her eyes and stood up. Dream didn't move as she walked into his space.

"This is a client; I'm being paid, so I need to at least exhaust--"

"I said you need to let this go," Dream snapped, and now he sounded angry. Something about this room was setting him on edge, and Johanna felt it wasn't the bad energy she could feel. There was something about this that was really getting under Dream's skin.

"Tell me why," Johanna replied.

"I don't owe you any--"

"Yes, yes, you're a King and whatever, you don't me owe anything; I still want to know why I should walk away from this job because until you give me one, I'm going to keep looking into this until I figure out what made that man go out of his mind," Johanna interrupted. Dream didn't reply; he just glared at her, like that would make any difference when it came to these things. However, the silence was loud, making something click in her head. Dream hadn't ever told her to walk away from a job before, and he would only ask if he was involved. "Did you do it?"

"I don't answer to you, Constantine," he replied, which was answer enough.

"You did; this was you; you're the one who made Richard Madoc's mind burn so bright that there's nothing left," Johanna said. "First, the serial killers, and now this, you have a strange way of intervening with people. Is Richard Madoc a secret serial killer I should know about and deserve this punishment?"

"He deserves worse. What I gave him what mercy compared to what I wanted to do him," Dream snapped. "What he did is of no concern to you, Constantine, but he deserved to be punished. What happened to him will eventually fix itself; the damage isn't permanent, and he'll be his pathetic self again soon."

"Why do you get to decide who gets what justice? Who are you to decide what people deserve?" Johanna asked. "Is this what you do, Dream? You punish those who have wronged you and that you think deserve it, whether by destroying their minds or sending them to hell. Someone wrongs you, and you think that gives you the right to punish them." She gestured to the room, and she swore that Dream flinched. "What did he do to deserve it? Someone said something about a woman locked in a room, and I can feel something terrible happened here, so tell me, what happened?"

"It is not my story to tell and certainly not to you. She is safe, and that is all that matters," Dream said after a long silence. "I would ask you to trust that he deserved this punishment, but I can see you do not trust me."

"You're the one who said that you can't trust anyone in my family; think of it as me returning the gesture," Johanna said, and she sighed heavily. "We're all just one misstep away from the wrath of Dream of the Endless reigning down on us."

"If that is what you think, then so be it," Dream said, and he was gone. Once again, sand was on the ground, and Johanna took the time to collect it carefully. Nora wouldn't like the explanation that Richard would get better eventually, but Johanna didn't know what version of Richard would exist. Perhaps he deserved it, but she had a hard time reconciling the idea of God or Lucifer judging souls. The idea of the Endless judging the actions in real time felt like walking through an active field filled with landmines.

Johanna wondered when she was going to step on one and what the consequences of one would be.

+++

The first day after the fight with Dream, Johanna jumped at shadows in a way she hadn't since she was very small. It was like every time she looked over her should, she expected to see Dream standing there, ready to say that she pissed him off enough that she would be locked in Hell just like Nada. Nothing came, however, and eventually, she had to move on with her life. Unfortunately, moving on with her life meant she needed to go to Nora and Richard and tell them that there wasn't anything she could do for them, but she thought it might get better eventually.

Nora was waiting outside when Johanna pulled up, and she seemed to know that something was wrong immediately. Johanna didn't have it to argue, so she held up a hand, and Nora followed her silently into the building. Johanna walked into Richard's room without knocking and was loud enough that he jumped a little when she walked in.

"Did you really need to do that?" Nora asked.

"I don't know, Richard, did I?" Johanna asked, and he frowned deeply. "What did you do?"

"He's been here the entire time, so I don't know what--"

"Quiet, Nora, the adults are talking," Johanna snapped without looking away from Richard. He looked confused, still like he had no idea what she was talking about, and maybe he couldn't remember whatever he did to make Dream so angry. "I was in your home; I felt the energy there. I could feel something terrible had happened there, and it wasn't this situation. This was something that had sunk into the floorboards, so whatever it was, you were doing it for years, and it was enough to poison your entire home. It was enough to make something furious at you, and you were punished for it."

"I don't remember," Richard said carefully, but she could tell he wasn't lying. Nora, however, looked white as a sheet. Whatever she thought could be the answer; apparently, the idea that her favorite writer was a cad didn't even register for her.

"What did he do?" Nora whispered.

"Don't know, and apparently, neither does he anymore," Johanna replied. "I know what did this to him, and telling you about it won't make anything better. There isn't anything you can do to it, and the fact that he doesn't remember anything makes me think that this thing doesn't want him to remember." Johanna looked at Nora. "The damage to his mind should heal with time. From what I understand, the punishment was the talking; this is just backlash or a side effect. He just needs to heal, and he'll be fine again." Nora nodded silently and looked at Richard as if she didn't really know what to do with him. Richard blinked and looked back at her like Nora was going to be the one to make all of this make sense. Something about that made her flinch, and Nora stood up a little taller.

"I'll handle your fee, Miss. Constantine," Nora said, and she turned to walk out of the room without looking back at Richard.

"Wait," Richard said as Johanna was about to walk away, "please, tell me, what did this to me? What did I do to deserve this?" It was the most coherent sentence she had heard from him since she had met him. Of all the sentences for him to say, it had to be this one.

"Good luck with your next book, Mr. Madoc," Johanna replied, leaving the room. Nora was waiting with a check in hand and handed it over without saying anything. It was their agreed-upon fee if Johanna had found a way to cure Richard of the thing that was ailing him, but it seemed that Nora was taking this as a sign that this would be the best they would get.

"Miss. Constantine," Nora said quietly as Johanna began to walk away. "You said whatever he did was so bad that it sunk into the floor boards and poisoned his flat. You said it was going on for years. That night, he said there was a woman in that room. Do you think he somehow was..." She trailed off like she didn't know how to finish that sentence.

"I don't have answers for you, Nora, because I don't even know what he did. I can tell you that it takes something truly evil to poison a place like that, and whatever was happening in that room, he sent you to that night where you found nothing; it was bad. You should do with that information as you will." Johanna replied without turning around. As she walked out of the building, she felt that Nora wouldn't be a visitor for Richard. She felt that he had just lost the last link that cared about him in any way. The idea of Dream passing judgment like that didn't sit right with her, but Johanna wouldn't lose any sleep knowing that Richard Madoc was alone in this world.

+++

Johanna tried to push Richard Madoc and whatever he did from her mind, but his home energy felt like it hung onto her skin like oil. No matter how hard she tried, there wasn't any getting rid of it, and nothing seemed to be working to fix it. So she ignored it the best she could and continued with her life. Her life felt like it was returning to normal again, and she could stop jumping at shadows when one moment she was sitting at a coffee shop, and the next, a beautiful woman was sitting across from her. Johanna was about to open her mouth to flirt, but it was like it got stuck to the roof of her mouth. This woman was stunning, with long dark hair and sparkling eyes.

"Johanna Constantine?" she said, and immediately Johanna went from intrigued to on edge because anyone who often sought her out like this didn't come with good intentions. "I mean you no harm; I'm merely here to speak to you."

"About what exactly?" Johanna asked. She glanced around, and if anyone else could see this exchange, they didn't pay much attention.

"A mutual friend of ours. I knew him as Oneiros, but you might know him as Morpheus or Dream," she replied easily.

"I'm afraid that Dream and I are not exactly what you would consider friends," Johanna replied bitterly, but this seemed to amuse the woman instead of insulting her.

"No, I suppose he hasn't many friends, so I wanted to speak to you. I believe the two of you have quarreled recently about the fate of Richard Madoc," she explained, and something in her voice changed. It was a change that Johanna heard from far too many women who told far too similar stories, but she didn't want to assume anything.

"I think you should start at the beginning," Johanna said instead of voicing what she thought was happening.

"That would be a long story, I'm afraid," the woman said. "My name is Calliope. I am a Goddess, a muse to some, and sixty years ago, I was taken captive by a human man named Erasmus Fry, and he kept me. I was to inspire him to write, but I do not give away my talents to people who take away my freedom. So he took it by force." A pit opened up in Johanna's stomach, and it seemed that the same stories even happened to those who weren't part of this world. "Four years ago, he transferred my captivity to Richard Madoc, whom you met recently. He tried to woo me and ask for my gifts, but I told him I would give him nothing without my freedom. Eventually, he too took them by force."

"You were the woman in the room," Johanna whispered, and Calliope nodded.

"When I saw someone awoken from the sleeping sickness, I knew that Oneiros must have been freed. I summoned him even though our last exchange, when our son passed, was angry. I thought he wouldn't come, but he did," Calliope explained. "I didn't ask for details. I don't want to know exactly what he did, but I know he did something to Richard that made him relinquish his hold on me. I know that when I was free, I told Oneiros to release Richard from that punishment because nothing would be gained from that lingering. He did, and we parted ways. I have learned that you were summoned to try and help Richard, who couldn't remember Oneiros or me and could hardly form a thought. I can only assume that Oneiros told you that you should not help him, and he did not ask politely."

"You could say that," Johanna said, and she hesitated. "All he would tell me was that he deserved it, but he wouldn't tell me what he did. I could feel it in that house; whatever it was was evil, but--"

"--But the idea of Oneiros passing judgment and punishment like that must put you on edge," Calliope finished. "Yes, I can understand how his reaction would seem extreme, but I find it odd that he didn't just tell you what happened. Surely, that would have made this much easier for everyone."

"He said it wasn't his story to tell," Johanna said, which seemed to surprise Calliope. Then she looked a little sad.

"He truly has changed from when he was my husband and my son's father. I hope that someday I can mourn with this Oneiros who has changed so much," Calliope said. "Johanna, I know that his actions seem extreme to you. I know that the idea of judgment like that is terrifying, but I can assure you that he does not regularly do this. The people Oneiros has punished in the real world are few and far between. There are much easier ways to punish ill deeds within the mind."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Johanna asked.

"Because I do believe that Oneiros would consider you a friend of some sort, and he needs more of those. He has been alone for so long, and, as you might understand, all you want for those you love is for them to be less alone. He has emerged from captivity different, the same as I, and I believe your friendship could help him change into an even better version of himself." Calliope pushed herself to her feet and smiled down at Johanna. "I hope hearing it from me will help persuade you to give him another chance. It hurts too much for him to be around me. I cannot be there for him, but maybe you and a few others could help him the way I could never." Calliope left the cafe without another word and seemed to vanish from sight. Johanna watched the spot where she had sat for a long time until the tea in her hands was ice cold.

+++

Johanna thought about what Calliope had said for a long time. It was one of those horrifying moments she wished she didn't know because she had convinced herself that Richard couldn't have been holding someone prisoner. There would have been evidence somewhere if he had kept it there, but he was. Not only that, he was violating that woman for the sake of inspiration for books that Johanna thought were bullsh*t. He was walking around pretending that he was a good man writing strong female characters when all of that came from the captivity and violation of a woman. She wanted to tell all of the people on the internet speculating that Richard was a cad that they were f*cking right, but that might give something away. It was clear that Dream didn't want Richard to remember him or Calliope, and she wouldn't be the one to undo that by mentioning either of their names.

It didn't take long to see that she was right, and Nora stopped helping with Richard and his condition. The nurses said they saw minor improvements, but now it looked like he didn't have the will to improve. It was like Nora was the thing he was striving for, even if he didn't understand why he wanted to please her. Johanna didn't say anything else and tried her best to go about her life. There weren't any more signs of Matthew in the air, Dream in the shadows, or Calliope turning up for a chat. There was just her day-to-day life doing her job. She kept researching the book just in case, and, for some reason, she still didn't do anything with the sand. It was starting to feel precious, and she didn't like that feeling at all.

Johanna thought this was a routine exorcism and that she would have the chance to go home and maybe drink herself to sleep when the demon looked her dead in the eye.

"If you want to save the girl, stop speaking," it said. It was probably a trick; she knew it was a trick, but Johanna hesitated just enough to keep the demon bound but not actively being dragged back down to Hell. "Smart girl."

"I'm not going to wait all f*cking day for you to say what you mean," Johanna snapped.

"My Lord is looking to weaken Lord Morpheus, and you are someone who is connected to him. You are someone that could get close enough to hurt him or even trap him again," the demon explained. "If you help us trap him, if you help us kill him, then My Lord will return the girl to you."

"I don't know what girl you're talking about," she said, but the demon laughed as she lied through her teeth.

"You think we don't speak of the sorcerer trying to save the little girl from Hell? You think we didn't laugh about your f*ckup, Constantine?" the demon said. It wasn't good that it knew her name, but considering that she was apparently infamous in Hell was still something she hadn't considered in all her years of exorcising demons.

"The Lord of Hell is the Lord of Lies; why would I make any sort of deal with Her when I know what Her word is worth?" Johanna asked. She didn't know if this demon or anyone else knew that Lucifer had tried to go back on her deal with Dream when they fought for the helm and his freedom, but it seemed like something that she wouldn't want them to know. The demon bared its teeth and hissed at her, but Johanna decided that telling this demon, and likely all of Hell, that Dream managed to outsmart Lucifer was not the move to make here. Something was already going on between them, and putting herself in the middle seemed like a very bad idea.

"You would dare doubt Her word?" the demon asked.

"I know better than to make deals with those with no reason to keep up their end," Johanna replied. "If you want to get to Lord Morpheus, your Lord will have to find another way because it won't be through me." Even as she said the words, even as Johanna knew that this was the right decision, there was still the nagging doubt in the back of her mind that she could get Astra back. Maybe they would keep up their end of all of this and just let her go if Johanna helped deliver Dream to them. Wasn't she worth more than him? The demon must have been the hesitation because it laughed and continued to laugh as she threw it back to Hell. When it finally vanished, Johanna collapsed to her hands and knees. It felt like she had just fought that thing for far longer, and it had taken a lot out of her to finish it after that conversation. She wondered if that was the point, and then she would have been more vulnerable.

For two days, she sat on the conversation with the demon and the idea that Lucifer knew who she was and that Johanna was connected to Dream. That was enough of a mindf*ck, but the nightmare of Astra being dragged from her played over in her mind again and again; it seemed to follow her like a waking nightmare, and Johanna wondered if this was Dream trying to punish her. On the third night, she lay down, closed her eyes, and pictured Dream in her mind. It was as close to calling him as she could do right now.

+++

Johanna blinked and realized she was standing in the club and hadn't summoned Dream; she was having the nightmare about Astra. However, there wasn't anyone nearby, and she didn't feel drawn to the room where she knew the demon was. Instead, she turned around and saw Dream standing across the room. He wasn't glaring at her but didn't seem pleased to see her.

"I am busy, Constantine, so whatever you need to say, please say it so I may move on with my duties," he said. Johanna wanted to lash out at him, screaming that she was here trying to help him, but that wouldn't help anyone.

"You're going to want to interrupt me, and I'm going to tell you right now that you shouldn't," Johanna said, and he narrowed his eyes. He didn't say anything, which she took to mean that she could continue. "Not long after I got paid for the Richard Madoc job, when I told them that he did something terrible, but the effects would eventually wear off, someone came to see me while I was getting some tea. She said she was named Calliope and told me exactly what Madoc did and why you felt the need to punish him the way you did. I can also understand why you would want to hurt him, but the idea of you passing judgment on us, on anyone, scares the f*ck out of me." Dream cringed a little when she said Calliope's name, but he didn't say anything to stop her from talking.

"Not long after that," Johanna continued, "a demon stopped me from sending it to Hell by saying it could help me get Astra back. It told me that Lucifer herself could help me get Astra back." Dream looked like he was about to say something, but Johanna held up a hand to silence him. "I know, I didn't believe them, but I thought you should know that my end of the deal would have concerned you."

"Concerned me," Dream repeated. He looked resigned and not at all surprised to hear this information. She wasn't sure if it was worse than he was or wasn't surprised. "What did they want you to do?"

"They knew that we are connected, and they wanted me to use that connection to weaken or trap you somehow. In exchange for that, they said they would release Astra and let her free."

"You considered it," Dream said, and Johanna shrugged because there really wasn't any denying it.

"Not out loud, but I did think about it; I would do just about anything to get that girl back," she said.

"But not hand them me," Dream finished. He was standing a lot closer than he was a moment ago, and he was just as overwhelming as he had been from the moment they had locked eyes that night.

"No, I turned them down, but I thought you should know that they are keeping an eye on those you give any attention to, and someone else could be tempted," Johanna explained. Her heart was pounding as she stared into those galaxy eyes. "It f*cking terrifies me, the thought that you were passing judgment on me because I know exactly how you would judge me in the end."

"I'm afraid you are mistaken, Johanna Constantine, about how I would judge you if it ever came to that. However, rest assured that even those that spend time in my presence and willingly give my time, I would not judge them now the way I would have even before my captivity," Dream explained.

"Calliope said it changed you. Is that one of the ways it changed you?" she asked.

"I'm listening, or at the very least, I am trying to," Dream replied as he looked her up and down. "Thank you for telling me about this, Constantine. You did not have to, and I know it must have been tempting to try to bring her back. If there were a way, I would have told you the moment I saw your nightmare."

"Yeah," Johanna looked down and shoved her hands into her jacket pocket, "I had a feeling that was the case, but I couldn't be sure until I heard the words, I guess." She looked up at him and wondered if this was a good idea, if being near him was going to be the death of her, and if she even cared. "If you have the time, you should stop by some of my calmer dreams from time to time." It was an olive branch that she wouldn't be surprised if he threw it back in her face, but this eternal being still found a way to surprise her.

"I'll keep that in mind," Dream replied. The dream ended, and Johanna woke up feeling rested for the first time in a long time.

+++

Things didn't exactly go back to normal from there. Johanna didn't see Dream in her dreams for days at a time, but they also didn't feel as empty as they did when he was missing. There was something different. She also was rethinking how she was approaching all of this. She couldn't wrap her head around some things, and maybe that was something she needed to deal with alone. Calliope told her what Richard had done, but Johanna still wasn't sure what the correct punishment was. She knew what it felt like to want revenge and justice and that the path toward that isn't linear. She could only imagine that the path was even less linear when you weren't bound to the constraints of a single human life.

Dream joined her for a conversation days after they had talked and didn't say much, but he said a few things she was interested in. One of them was that there was someone else he was seeing who was also located somewhere on Earth. She didn't know if this other person was mortal since he seemed to refer to her as one of his few mortal acquittances, but she also wasn't sure what else was running around out there. She also thought about the small jar of sand she was still carrying around and the book of spells she knew very well these days. If she wanted to, she could probably find a way to at least make Dream's life a lot harder, and the fact that she wasn't didn't feel like a moral victory. Instead, it felt like she was still hiding something from him.

"Could you come back to the real world with me today?" Johanna asked as they wandered through the Dreaming. He wasn't close enough to touch, but there wasn't a lot of space between them either.

"Why?" Dream asked.

"There is something I need to show you, and it can only happen there," she replied. Dream frowned and spent some time thinking about it. He could say no, and she would have to try again on another night.

"Very well, you can show me what you want to show," Dream said. Johanna nodded and was glad she had chosen a night where she had fallen asleep completely clothed on the couch to ask Dream this question. Not that she would ask him to come when she was naked when things were so awkward between them right now. The dream passed without much else happening, and before she realized it, Johanna was waking up. She blinked up at her ceiling and sat up. Dream stood across her room, his hands in his jacket pockets, watching her carefully.

"Stay here," she said. It took a minute for the feeling to get back into her legs; they were a little numb from sleeping on the couch, but she managed to stumble into her bedroom. The vial of sand was close by, and she picked it up. This was the most powerful weapon she had against Dream, maybe the only thing that could stop him; a piece of an Endless could do real damage, and she would give it back. Johanna hoped that she wasn't a f*cking idiot for this. She walked back into the room, and Dream tensed when he saw what was in her hand.

"How did you get that?" he asked.

"You would leave them behind when you would leave. I saw them on my floor and just leaned down to pick them up. I'm not even sure where the compulsion came from," Johanna explained.

"You saw how dangerous that sand was to humans," he warned.

"I did, which is why the top of this vial is warded. I never interacted with the sand long enough to get any sort of effect, and the amounts were so small that nothing really happened. This is all collected from multiple visits between us," Johanna explained.

"And what will you do with it now, Constantine?" Dream asked. When he was angry or afraid, he reverted to her last name; she wasn't sure which one Dream was at that moment.

"I know how important a piece of a person is," she said as she looked at the vial in her hands. "A strand of hair, some spit, pieces of the body are power pieces in magic and can be used to do great damage or control on someone or something. In the same way that names have power, bodies have even more power because our bodies carry life. It's why so much dark magic needs so many pieces of the body; it takes a lot of life to do that magic. The last time pieces of you were around in the mortal plane, an innocent woman died, and something else happened. All of the world woke up from the same dream of destruction, yet there was no destruction that seemed like something that might be connected to you. If pieces of human bodies are powerful, then one could only imagine that pieces of one of the Endless are even more powerful." Dream's hands were clenched at his sides, and she wondered if he was about to snap her neck. It was necessary, though, that he knew that she knew exactly what she was giving up. Johanna stepped forward and held the vial out for him to take.

"What is this?" Dream asked.

"I helped you recover your sand once before; I suppose this is just me doing a version of that again," Johanna explained. She didn't say how she was giving up a powerful weapon against him; she didn't say how holding onto a piece of the Dream Lord could grant some insane form of dark magic; she didn't say any of that because Dream probably knew exactly what that small amount of sand could do. Neither of them moved like he wasn't sure that she would snatch it back or if this was a trap, but eventually, Dream reached forward and took the vial from her hand. He tensed again like he was waiting for something, but nothing happened. He pulled his bag out and poured the small amount of sand inside.

"He told me that I leave the sand behind when I am with him as well," Dream said.

"Your other lover?" Johanna asked, and he nodded. She laughed a little, and he frowned. "No, it's sweet; you're literally leaving pieces of yourself behind with the people you're sleeping with. Some might call that romantic." Something about that sentence seemed to snap all the tension in the room, and Dream finally relaxed.

"Why do I feel like you aren't one for romance, Johanna Constantine?" he said.

"Who has the f*cking time for romance?" Johanna replied. Dream shook his head as he held the vial for her to return. That was surprising; she expected him to shatter it and throw it away.

"Could you make another one?" he asked.

"Another one of these?" she repeated, and he nodded. "Yeah, it wasn't that hard, but why?" It took a moment, but then it clicked. "Ah, your gentleman caller, you want him to have a way to collect the sand and protect himself as well."

"You should continue to have one as well if I'm going to continue to leave the sand behind. At least I'll know it's going to a safe place," Dream replied. That was a level of trust she wasn't expecting from him, but Johanna wasn't about to throw it in his face, not when they had just made so much progress. She was about to ask Dream when he wanted the vial done when he stepped forward and directly into her space. "You continue to confound me, Johanna Constantine."

"Well, I wouldn't want to be boring," Johanna said.

"Certainly not," Dream said as he leaned down and kissed her. This wasn't where she was expecting the night to go, but it wasn't something she didn't want to happen. Sleeping with Dream was an experience that she very much enjoyed, and it was something that she wanted to continue even after all of the harsh words they had shared. Dream seemed to agree as he walked her backward until her back hit the wall. Johanna gasped against his mouth, and Dream moved to kiss along her jawline and to her neck. He was going to leave another bruise that would be impossible to hide, but she wasn't trying to stop him either. If anything, Johanna was pulling him closer and moaning softly.

Johanna pulled Dream back to her mouth as he used his inhuman strength to pick her up and easily press her against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist, but he was holding her up like she didn't weigh anything. Johanna could feel how hard Dream was between the layers of clothing, but even the slow grind they were doing through their clothes felt incredible. It really was unfair how good at sex this man was.

"Unfair, she says," Dream said into her mouth, and Johanna realized that she had mumbled the last part out loud.

"When you've been around for as long as humanity has existed, I would hope your talent is above what an average human can do," Johanna said back, but the biting snark was dulled by how breathy her voice was and how close to begging she was. Dream chuckled against her lips again, and Johanna groaned in frustration. "Will the king decide to touch me finally, or am I going to have to finish this myself?"

"You'll do no such thing," Dream said as he bit her lower lip. One moment, they were pressed against the wall, and the next, they were on the floor of her flat, and they were both frantically trying to unbutton her pants while still kissing. Dream finally got his hand between her legs, and it wouldn't take much after a dry spell. Johanna's entire world was nothing but Dream of the Endless recently, so the idea of f*cking anyone else hadn't even occurred to her. So she hadn't gotten off since the last time she had f*cked Dream before the two of them got into the fight. She was wound up tight, she could admit that, so it only took a twist of his talented fingers for her to cry out. Dream was apparently not in one of his moods where he wanted to make her come so many times that Johanna went a little out of her mind; she was okay to pull him back into another kiss and make out as she enjoyed the afterglow.

"Don't be a stranger," Johanna told him as Dream got up to leave.

"I will see you as soon as I am able to," Dream replied. He was gone in a whirl of sand, and Johanna carefully took the time to collect the tiny pieces of Dream left behind even though her legs felt like jelly.

+++

Dream was busy; he had other things to do, so she didn't bother him with the information that she had finished the other vial for his other lover, who was apparently a man. Johanna considered herself a relatively intelligent person, so she decided to try to find this person herself because she wanted to know what else otherworldly was running around. It was her job to know these things, or at least that was the justification she used when she began to look.

There was an obvious choice, and that was the man who was meeting Dream every 100 years, her ancestor figured out. There was a drawing of them in her journals, but it seemed that Lady Constantine couldn't find Dream or the man again in her lifetime. However, she looked, and she looked a lot. The location had to be important somehow because, otherwise, meeting there over and over again would be risky. It was a designated spot between them, so it must have been important somehow. It was initially going to be demolished, but then someone petitioned to have it designated as a landmark. It had worked very recently but had fallen to ruin as the city eventually devised ways to restore the building.

Johanna approached the White Horse and stood outside the fencing as she looked everything over. It was easy to find a place to slip between in so she could go into the building and look around. She liked exploring old buildings because the previous occupants' memories and ghosts lingered in both bad and good ways. It gave them character that these new builds didn't have, and there was so much to be learned from old buildings. This one was falling apart and in dire need of some help. However, there wasn't anything that seemed to scream a meeting between two immortal creatures.

After many hours of exploring and coming up with nothing, Johanna exited the White Horse. There was some interesting graffiti, including some indicating that she should follow an arrow to a different location. It was late at night, so everything was closed down, but the New Inn was nearby and within walking distance. It was a little on the nose, but she supposed that a creature that had been around as long as this one had would eventually have enough money to buy land even in England. She wanted to go into the pub with information, so it would be best to figure out something before going in.

Johanna dug into the petition the next day to make the White Horse a landmark. It came from a local university classroom and looked like something they did as a project. It was a strange thing to pick to petition the city; however, it was a somewhat random location, but Johanna noted it. She also looked into who owned the New Inn and saw that it was an anonymous benefactor who lived somewhere in Scottland and might not even exist. However, Johanna knew she wasn't exactly perfect at finding false identities and instead continued to look into the New Inn. The current manager was a normal-looking elderly man who had run the thing for many years and seemed to employ a few of his children and grandchildren.

Hidden in the paperwork of the building was the fact that there was a flat above the pub. It wasn't hidden, but it also wasn't something that was being advertised. It looked like it was the only flat and it wasn't the man who managed the pub who lived there. It took some time, but eventually, she found the name of the man who lived in the flat: a history teacher named Rob Golding. Rob had no social media but a picture on the university website and a distinct-looking face. While the drawing wasn't very good, it was clear that this was the man Dream had met up with every 100 years since at least the 1600s, if not earlier.

The next day, Johanna made her way to the pub in the early evening, long after classes would have ended, and found Rob Golding grading papers and drinking a pint like he didn't have a care in the world. There was a good chance that he wouldn't cause a scene since there were other people here, but Johanna had a few things on her that might work if this Rob turned out to be dangerous. She walked across the room and sat at his table without asking for permission.

"I'm not looking for any company--" Rob started as he looked up and stared at her. His face went through a complicated expression that Johanna couldn't put a name on, and he also went very pale. "He said the resemblance was uncanny, but I didn't think he was being serious."

"And who might you be referring to?" Johanna asked.

"I think you know exactly who I'm referring to, Lady Constantine," Rob replied. So it turned out that Dream of the Endless was a bit of a gossip about who he was sleeping with. That was amusing, and she smiled at him.

"Sounds like you and I have a lot to chat about. Shall we order a round?" she asked.

"I don't think this is the right place for this conversation. If I ask you up to my room, do you promise not to try and kill me?" he asked.

"Not unless you do something to provoke it," Johanna replied with a shrug. Rob nodded, drained his pint, gathered his papers, and walked toward the lone staircase across the room. Johanna followed as she tried to see what exactly this man was, but she couldn't tell. If she had passed him on the street, she would have thought he was just an average human, but he was centuries old as far as she could tell, or he would have somehow been reborn. Rob opened the door to his flat and let Johanna inside. It was a modest place, but she could see small pieces of history everywhere. Some first edition books that a teacher like him couldn't afford, antique pieces of furniture that looked well-loved, and other things.

"A drink or tea?" Rob offered.

"Neither," Johanna replied, not trusting this man just yet. Rob didn't seem insulted; instead, he made himself a cup of tea and gestured for Johanna to join him at a small table in the kitchen. "What are you?" she asked because that was what she needed to know before she could even begin to relax around this man.

"Hob Gadling," he replied, "and I'm just a human man who can't seem to die." When he didn't elaborate on that, Johanna just stared at him.

"You can't seem to die," she repeated, and he nodded. "How does that happen, exactly?"

"I thought Dream was doing it for years, but he told me recently that it's actually his sister that is keeping me from dying."

"And why would Death decide to keep you from dying?" Johanna asked, and Hob grinned.

"Isn't that the question? Dream said it was for a bet he made with his sister, but I suspect that she thought he needed a friend, so she made one for him," Hob explained. He sounded far too calm about all of this, but Johanna had a feeling that the revelation that he was being kept alive due to a bet was probably a nasty conversation between him and Dream. She tilted her head to the side and studied Hob. There didn't appear to be anything remarkable about him, and she could only imagine that he wasn't anything remarkable whatever year he was granted immortality. Dream wouldn't gel well with other royalty. "You're sleeping with him?" Hob asked.

"Oh yes, does that bother you?" Johanna replied.

"Not at all," Hob said without missing a beat. If he was lying, then he was very good at it, and if the way he reacted to her was anything to go by, Hob was not a good liar. "Dream didn't have anyone for a long time; he barely acknowledged that he had me, and we only met for one night every 100 years, so it's good that he has someone else so he doesn't become a mopey bastard again."

"'Again,' he says, was he always like this?" she asked. She was not above a bit of gossip either, but it's not very often that you meet the other person in the relationship, and they really are all right with you being there as well.

"Oh no, he was much worse when I met him," Hob revealed, and Johanna tried to think about what that must have been like. It must have shown on his face because Hob chuckled into his tea. "I've been immortal since 1389, so I can assure you he's a very different man from the one I met." The smile faded from Hob's face, and he looked down at his tea. "What he went through changed him, and it was for the better, but---"

"--but you still wish it didn't happen," Johanna finished. The two of them sat quietly for a moment before she reached into her pocket and pulled out the vial. "Dream leaves behind sand when he leaves, and I know from first-hand experience how dangerous that sand can be. Collecting the sand that he leaves behind in this vial will keep it from affecting you negatively." Hob looked like he wanted to ask, but he took the vial from her and looked it over.

"Thank you, Lady Constantine," Hob replied.

"Johanna is fine," she replied with a wave of her hand. "This has been fascinating, but I do have other things that need to be done." Hob nodded as he went to see her out the door, but he was hesitating about something.

"No one else knows about me, and no one else knows my story except for Dream, and he's not exactly the best at talking to when it comes to human things," Hob said carefully. "Do you think we could meet for tea occasionally? Have a chat and talk freely about everything insane that happens in our lives?" It wasn't a date, and Johanna didn't feel any attraction toward Hob Gadling, but she could only imagine the things he had seen, and she did want to know more about the world. She reached into her pocket and handed him one of her cards.

"I'm sure I can fit you into my schedule," Johanna replied.